Blood Sweat And Ears

images-1  I wish.

Forgive my choice of words, but I’m truly fucked.  My hearing is so bad right now I virtually can’t have a conversation.  My nodding abilities are soaring since no one has any idea since I keep encounters brief so not to give myself away and wonder, now what?

Should I hop back on Prednisone like a horse that continues to throw me…or just quietly accept the fact I am slowly but surely going deaf?

I get really furious at God screaming at him saying, of all the shits in the world you can go after, why would you choose a nice girl like me?

Yeah I know, how stupid, but that’s where we’re at folks.

I had a bone density test that more or less said, I’m in the green room for osteoporosis.  When I think what great shape I was in before this from my years of running, I could cry.  Steroids are like termites that gnaw at your bones till there’s nothing left.  Vultures politely leave more in their wake.

Such attractive choices I have…

to either go deaf or break a hip.

Do you think I should flip a coin?

 images-2 Let me just say, I’m grateful for my sense of humor, plus a place in which I can vent since candor, believe me, is key.


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
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35 Responses to Blood Sweat And Ears

  1. micklively says:

    Your illness is nothing to be ashamed of. Why hide your deafness? The world can cope or fuck off! If you’re brave enough to accost gobby joggers, I’m sure you can brazen out a hearing problem with impunity?


  2. Beverly Giangiacomo says:

    I am sure I missed the blog explaining the reason for your deafness. Have you had a second opinion? I consume a bit (2 Tbsp.) of organic apple cider vinegar diluted every day to help my bone strength.
    A friend of mine has some fancy, expensive hearing aids that work supremely well for her. Should I find out the brand? Are you learning to lip read? I have learned from my friend to be careful to enunciate and look at her when I speak. Just want to make things better for you…

    Liked by 1 person

    • How kind you are. There is no reason for my hearing issues…it just abruptly happened three years ago. It’s funny you mention apple cider vinegar because I noticed I have an unopened bottle the size of Cleveland in the cabinet…am breaking it open.

      Yes, tell me the name of her hearing aids…curious, and thanks again…so very much.


    • Beverly Giangiacomo says:

      Phonak is the name of the hearing aids my friend has. She is out of town and does not know the model number.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Elle Knowles says:

    H takes a swig of apple cider vinegar every morning. Keeps telling me I should try it, but I can’t get past the smell!
    Was thinking of you and your hearing loss yesterday…your sense of humor will save you…but yes, it’s nice to be able to hear the laughter…better to keep trying for a solution, as I know you will, than to quit. ~Elle

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I hope the hearing aids work. They aren’t without their own issues. According to my brother (who has worn them for 20 years) the good news is that you can turn them off when people get to you. My hearing isn’t fabulous anymore but I wish I could share it with you.


  5. Lynn says:

    I am sure this must be so frustrating for you Susannah. I apologise for my ignorance but have you tried hearing aids? Another thing you might consider is sourcing an agency/support system that assists with hearing impairment? I know we have a great local agency here that is a godsend for those dealing with hearing issues. As far as the osteo, do you do low impact weights? A trainer told me a few years back one of the best things we can do as women (as we age) is to use low impact toning weights to build bone density. Hang in there & never, ever lose your sense of humour my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Patricia says:

    I hear you, girlfriend. As one with chronic health issues I know how frustrating it can be. And now I can add some hearing and bone loss. It’s a bummer! The thing is though these things are frustrating and can be embarrassing they are nothing to be ashamed of! You are a strong and funny woman, Susannah, a really great combination. Go ahead and vent, have a pity party, hit something (not a someone please) then get back to the business of living your wonderful life. In the meantime I will put my two cents in with you know Who.

    Liked by 1 person

    • If he’s home. God seems to be very busy these days…stuck in traffic maybe? I know you too have health challenges with two male nurses in attendance with tails. I am grateful for my sense of humor. I truly am.


      • Patricia says:

        Sometimes I wonder if God gets tired of listening to us and would like us to be quiet for awhile so He can talk. But would we/do we listen? You do have the gift of a wonderful sense of humor. Guess who gave it to you.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I know you are rather young, but is a hip replacement out of the question? I just had mine done and I am so happy about it. Just sharing…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Susannah, I’m sorry to hear—poor choice of word I know—about your hearing loss getting worse. However, I agree with you about holding tight to your sense of humor—even if you can’t do it in a physical sense. And don’t flip that coin if it’s a two-headed one. ;o)

    Liked by 1 person

  9. skinnyuz2b says:

    This really is a sucky choice, Susannah. I can understand how it’s easier to just nod with casual encounters. It’s so unfair how not being able to hear, speak, see, etc. as well as the next guy makes one so isolated. I promise to be more conscious of this in the future.
    When your wonderful sense of humor wavers, feel free to vent to us.


  10. My sister started loosing her hearing about 4 years ago and she is too vain to get a hearing aide. Yes, vain. My father was the same way repeating WHO? WHO? WHO? so many times I thought I was being raised by an owl.
    I hope that something comes along to help your situation. I want you to be hearing and happy. Prednisone helps as much as it hurts, which is unfortunate. It really did a number on my mothers bones, so I know what you’re talking about with a hip replacement on the horizon.

    Liked by 1 person

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