One More Tail In The Naked City

There’s a fellow runner I know only by a nod and a wave running quite often the same time as me.  This morning, as I was coming from Panera, I saw him walking his yellow lab. 73007-300x300-Yellow_LP3

He didn’t see me at first since I was coming up behind them.

I hear him yelling at the dog. “Hurry up. Come on for chrissakes.”

This poor animal, just trying to have a peaceful morning poop, looked harried…ears down, tail not wagging.  I took great offense on his behalf.

The minute this guy saw me his ire vanished, charm taking its place.

“Oh hi, how are you?  Going for your run I see.  Me too, as soon as I’m finished here.”

Here it comes.

“You mean when he’s finished.”

“He’s so slow.  I mean how long should it take a dog anyway?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”  He had yet to see I was pissed.

“Let me ask you something.  When you poop, how would you feel if someone was banging on the door screaming…HURRY UP?”

It was only then it dawned on him I had heard him yelling at his dog.  Then I took out the big gun loaded with embarrassment.

“How bout, you go run since that seems so important, and I’ll walk him for you.  You have a doorman, right?  Or I’ll just wait till you get back,”  I said ever so sweetly.

“No, I’ll walk him.  I just, you know, I like to get out early, like you.”

“Uh-huh.  It’s a pity he’s not potty trained. ”

“Hey, I love this dog.”

“Whose name is?”

“Skeeter. I love him…right boy?”

If I had to interpret the look on Skeeter’s face, it would have been more like…love this, you arrogant asshole.

“Then lettem poop in peace then.”

I scratched his ears, the dog’s..not his, and went on my merry way thinking…

my work is done here.

WOOF

SB

 

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in animals, comedy, humor, New York City, Women and men and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

28 Responses to One More Tail In The Naked City

  1. micklively says:

    They are strange creatures. They seem to take so much time and trouble, sniffing out exactly the right spot to poop. I don’t understand why: you’d think one patch of grass is much the same as another for pooping purposes. So it can be frustrating, waiting whilst they make their doggy minds up. But trying to hurry them is utterly counter-productive: every interruption just takes us back to “start again”.

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  2. Boy that was… ruff. But, charm boy never saw it coming. Skeeter, at least has his priorities in order. 😀

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  3. Lusekelo Munene says:

    Hahaha aren’t you opinionated! Lol, I bet Skeeter appreciated having somebody speak for him for once.

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  4. skinnyuz2b says:

    If you rush a pooping dog, you might end up with a little surprise later. It’s always wise to let them dump their whole load.
    Don’t be too hard on the jogger since he wasn’t abusive, just impatient. Something we all experience periodically.

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  5. Elle Knowles says:

    Good for you Susannah. Skeeter will be looking around for you often or at least his master will be checking your whereabouts before he lets loose again. This could be the reason I don’t have a dog. I’m too impatient. Cats are easy, especially when they are outside cats, and who knows how long a turtle takes to poop. I believe it is whenever the need arises as they swim lazily by! ~Elle

    Liked by 1 person

    • Great image…swim lazily by. I’m more impatient than anyone, believe me…look what happened at the Met. But an animal is another story. No dog was slower than Carmela and I did everything right by her. He could get up earlier, or get a walker. By the looks of it, he can well afford it.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Lynn says:

    Bahahaha! I love that you called him out on potty manners!

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  7. and you have another canine friend! I’m glad the jogger professed his love for his dog. I can allow the (very) occasional impatience but I want to know that the dog is important (unlike Tubes who had only you to profess love).

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Telepathy with the dog. You said what he thought.

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  9. My hope is that Skeeter is much wiser than his owner and barks his face off when “master” is in the middle of something important…hehehe ….sweet revenge Skeeter, sweet revenge.

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