He didn’t see me at first since I was coming up behind them.
I hear him yelling at the dog. “Hurry up. Come on for chrissakes.”
This poor animal, just trying to have a peaceful morning poop, looked harried…ears down, tail not wagging. I took great offense on his behalf.
The minute this guy saw me his ire vanished, charm taking its place.
“Oh hi, how are you? Going for your run I see. Me too, as soon as I’m finished here.”
Here it comes.
“You mean when he’s finished.”
“He’s so slow. I mean how long should it take a dog anyway?”
“I don’t know, you tell me.” He had yet to see I was pissed.
“Let me ask you something. When you poop, how would you feel if someone was banging on the door screaming…HURRY UP?”
It was only then it dawned on him I had heard him yelling at his dog. Then I took out the big gun loaded with embarrassment.
“How bout, you go run since that seems so important, and I’ll walk him for you. You have a doorman, right? Or I’ll just wait till you get back,” I said ever so sweetly.
“No, I’ll walk him. I just, you know, I like to get out early, like you.”
“Uh-huh. It’s a pity he’s not potty trained. ”
“Hey, I love this dog.”
“Whose name is?”
“Skeeter. I love him…right boy?”
If I had to interpret the look on Skeeter’s face, it would have been more like…love this, you arrogant asshole.
“Then lettem poop in peace then.”
I scratched his ears, the dog’s..not his, and went on my merry way thinking…
my work is done here.