“Do I have a deal for you,” she said on my voicemail.
I couldn’t imagine what it could be unless it involved all the shrimp you could eat, and boy, was that not it.
It started with a Groupon. For those of you who may not know, it’s a coupon involving others. My friend Robin, for instance, had one for a day spa she took her daughter to. Camille’s however, was about fillers.
Dr. Syringe, let’s call him, has this pre-Holiday deal going where, if you bring a couple of pals you all get a shot for the price of one you split three ways – so instead of 500.00 dollars it’s a little over 170.00 per face.
Doc makes his money and your laugh lines stop laughing, at least temporarily.
“But Camille, you know I’m really not a fan of fillers, especially Botox. That botulism business shot in your head doesn’t sit well.”
“Oh for crissakes, your head Susannah is already so fucked up according to Dr Shoe…
“That would be Shin…her name is Dr. Shin.”
“Whatever…what do you have to lose except maybe ten years?”
“My mind, the little that’s left of it?” Now I knew this was all about money. She had already corralled Tabby, short for Tabatha, another model of an uncertain, certain age we know, so she was short one pon, if you will.
I needed an out.
“You asked Tabatha Sweeney before you asked me? I’m stunned Camille, and more than a little hurt. Last I knew you two were on the outs calling her a tarantula in tights.”
“Well, I ran into her unexpectedly, so I seized the opportunity. Are you crying?”
“I just don’t know what to say except, if your forehead swells like the last time, call Tabby so she can pop that cork while putting cold compresses on your head, WHAT’S LEFT OF IT.”
Whew…..close call…do you know how many shrimp you could get for 170 bucks?