Testing 1 2 3

As some of you know, I’ve been under a doctor’s care.  A young neurologist who has put me through testing hell.  Well, the research has concluded without any concrete explanation in regards to my hearing loss.

The last attempt at raising it was 3 mega shots of steroids in my arm three days in a row times 3 which makes 9 syringes of poison at the hospital lab, not the cheeriest venue to spend your day in.  I sat in a big chair while a nurse in aqua scrubs shot 1000 milligrams of a steroid called, Solumedrol, through my veins smiling like a loopy stewardess.  All it did was keep me up for a week, not making a difference in any other area.

The doctor’s response after six months of every test known to man was…I’m sorry Miss. Bianchi.

You’re sorry?

It gave being let down all new meaning.  I blame myself knowing more about hearing loss than she does and should have known better.  After almost four years and fourteen specialists, I could lecture at Yale.

I’m trying not to be angry since she meant well.  She’s young and hopeful, and frankly, the only one who really tried coming up with a viable prognosis.  Pays to be 28 and pain free with medical stars in your eyes.

The good news…I’ve been exempt from every other illness like MS and Lupus, AIDS and Lyme Disease.  Cancer across the board.  There’s something to be said about that since I no longer wake up at 3 a.m. wondering if I’ll get Parkinson’s like Michael J. Fox, one of my favorite actors.

What’s next?

A last will and testament leaving all my earthly possessions to Carmela and her friends at the Tri-state Basset Hound Rescue Site.  Imagine how great they’ll look in my collection of French sailor shirts.

Along with that…one foot in front of the other…the next right action to take as you let go and let God drive the car you’re about to ram right through a wall.

Today I ran into a woman who has bad eyesight due to a botched cataract operation and can only read sparingly using a 10-ply magnifying glass.

There’s Mrs. A. around the corner who had a stroke, now taking her over an hour to walk across the street to buy a few groceries then back again, pushing her little chic Burberry patterned shopping cart like it weighed a million pounds.

I wrote about the model who lost her mind I saw drifting down Madison on the arm of an attendant, a shred of her former self having no clue who she is nor was.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I can live with the disappointment of no substantial reason for my plight.  When you think about it, it was a long shot anyway.  Things happen to people as they get older, and that’s when it’s time to rummage in back of the closet for that grace you thought you’d never need.

Hey, here it is, right next to that hubris hiding its sorry, now humbled head in front of my Vercace ball gown I just may put on to remind myself, there once was a moment I could still hear the music.

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
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19 Responses to Testing 1 2 3

  1. skinnyuz2b says:

    Nothing wrong with a little self-pity now and then, we’re only human. But when other’s have it worse, the ability to recognize this fact lets us continue on and give thanks for our good fortune. Stay strong, Susannah.

    Like

  2. Sobering post. I was to a new doc yesterday who is doing some new tests too. I have bone loss and I’m not excited to go back on the drugs for it. They didn’t help and they made me sick. As I expressed my concern about those drugs, I said I don’t want the side effects. Then I realized that I get a bad bellyache for about 5 hours after taking. It’s not the end of the world. There are people who take chemo and are deathly sick for days afterward. It was humbling to realize that. At the end of the day, she said she wouldn’t put me on anything that didn’t work in the past. My kinda doc. I suppose we could say that no matter how bad it is, there is always someone worse. I hear Carm is already planning what to do with her inheritance. Big dog biscuits are on order!

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    • What about Caltrate chewies…I’m taking it because of bone loss due to the steroids. Ask…there is always someone worse off. Have I ever mentioned Basketball? He’s a guy with no legs who with arms the size of oak trees, goes up and down the train with a cup. He doesn’t even have to ask for money…people see him coming and the dollars come out. Every time I’m in a severe poor me mode, I see him and I straighten out real fast.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Elle Knowles says:

    An image of Carmela in a sailor shirt makes me smile Susannah. 😉 ~Elle

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  4. micklively says:

    There’s still a good chance that you will get better, with no more explanation than you had when you fell ill.

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  5. Arthur Seder says:

    Hi Susannah. I’m a big fan of modern American medicine – I believe it’s the best shot at curing or fixing what ails us. But I’ve had a similarly frustrating experience, though not with as debilitating a problem as yours. I’ve been through 3 doctor visits, 2 MRI’s, blood tests, and a course of muscle relaxers (or whatever they were), with no diagnosis and no change in symptoms. I’m somewhat encouraged that all the tests are negative, but I find it hard to believe that my complaint has no physical cause, other than, basically, getting old. I’m not sure what to do next.

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    • Was just thinking of you, and here you are. Getting old appears to be a disease all its own. Rest, walking, staying around nature, helps quite a bit, and to live in the day. Now you know all about that. Nice hearing from you, and I’m sorry you feel less than 100%. Is there something in particular stressing you out? I have learned, stress is the cause of so many things. Try to relax if you can 🙂

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  6. Aging is cruel, and actually quite inhuman. But, if we have to do it, at least I like the way you’re going about it, Susannah.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Beverly Giangiacomo says:

    I know you might think I am crazy but several years ago I began studying energy medicine…if all of the paths are flowing in correct alignment everything works better…that’s way too simple an explanation but…go to youtube.com and click on Donna Eden…she’s an amazing woman who was not able to be treated by doctors for her problems…her 5 minute routine is so easy to do every day right there with her on youtube…give it at least 30 days and see how it goes.

    Also I suggest the every day you teach all of us one new sign language sign so we can all learn together…I bought all of the materials years ago and never used them…I love the idea of all of us learning together.

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  8. So sorry to hear that. I think my wife could sympathize, since she’s gone to tons of doctors for her foot problems and none did anything at all. I’m the optimist and want to keep trying, but she’s sick of doctors. Stay positive and never stop writing. No matta what. 🙂

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  9. Mike says:

    When we’re young and made of steel we are immortal, then we hit that place in life’s procession where we too need GOD.

    Liked by 1 person

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