I’ve often written how much I hate people who yak publicly on their cell phones…the intrusion of it with all its unconsciousness, but this time I have to say it broke the sound barrier, as it were.
I was in a church of all places, creeping in to rest and have a moment of peace. I think, despite my lapsed Catholicism, that’s really what churches are for.
As I slid into a seat, a woman of a certain age was nestled in the pew right across from me, ON HER PHONE. I couldn’t quite believe it at first especially when she was going over a list of restaurants her friends from Cleveland might like.
“How bout Peta Lugas?” (that would be Peter Lugers, famous Brooklyn steak house)
Despite my ire, I burst into tears. Is there no safe place anymore just to be? When I was growing up, a church was considered a sanctuary…a temple…a holy inner sanctum. My mother, despite all her faults always said, if you’re lost, run into a church, any church because God is there, and if he isn’t, he left someone in charge.
With all the dysfunction in my family, that was the best advice a kid like me could have received.
I sat for a minute juggling my options. I could quietly leave, or keep sobbing, which was the direction I was leaning…or
could smack her silly, which is what I did…at least verbally.
Just to be clear, I am so SICK of those who don’t care about anything but their inane personal needs. To park yourself in a place of proffered peace with a culinary itinerary is criminal.
Steak, she’s sitting there discussing cuts of meat adding, sliced tomatas come on the side. I mean, God, can you please take this woman out? If not then I’m just going to have to do it.
Like Joan of Arc, I waited for instructions.
“Excuse me,” I said, joining her where she sat, “have you forgotten where you are?”
She looked confused, as if she was hit on the head.
“Madam, with all due respect, you’re in church, not a mall. I’m only going to say this once. GET THE FUCK OFF YOUR PHONE!!!”
(Yes, I said fuck in a church…seems I’m saying it a lot lately).
She jumped, I swear, right in the air. I can’t say I felt sorry because her behavior was that inappropriate, at least to me.
I watched her terribly amused minus any remorse, as she ran from the sanctuary.
Sliced tomatas…I mean really.