Helping Someone You Hate

I realize hate’s a strong word and whatever happened to, Love thy neighbor?  It’s in the back of the closet right next to honor thy father and thy mother.  Yeah well, both those ships have sadly sailed, though the first still holds a pinch of promise.

Honoring my parents wasn’t so easy since they were drunk most of the time, and when sober, hungover and mean, my dad less so solely directing his ire at my mother.  She could have made a fortune at the Tower of London serving linguine in between tortures, her opera pearls the perfect noose.

Loving thy neighbor is another challenge.  The one who called me for advice is a girl who lives across the street.  A pompous, prim, I went to Vassar, and you did not, kinda gal brandishing her diploma like a .38

There’s never a time she doesn’t point out my lack of education.  She also writes, and because she’s a bit unstable on a medley of antidepressants, I try never to trump her in any way, a feat that should make me eligible for sainthood.  If she ever knew I was published, since she is not, she’d probably slit her wrists…that’s how important it is for her to be perceived as better.  That said….she called me because her landlord is harassing her, and what should she do?

I’ve been known to fight with mine so I’m the designated dope that’s supposed to come to her rescue.

Last time she saw me coming from the library she said, “You’re a member of The Society Library?  You actually read….I’m shocked.”

See why helping her is a stretch?

Now 12 Step teaches you, it’s perfectly okay to say no that, by the way, is a complete sentence.  In other words, you needn’t ever explain.  It also suggests detaching with love, but if an axe is necessary by all means, go to the woodshed.

What isn’t mentioned is the guilt you feel when you don’t heed the call.

So I acknowledged her through email rather than in person, what she preferred.  To be perfectly honest, I bristle in her presence and my desire to slam her becomes too great.  I simply said, she has rights, including a number to call for free legal advice.

She’s still hounding me for a meeting, but no can do, self-preservation taking precedence challenging guilt to a duel.

Maybe someone at Vassar could help her, which is what I added at the very end.

Yes, we know it was snide, but her narcissism will not, as it flies over her swelled head like a lost balloon.

Love thy neighbor?

Alright, but sometimes online is the best you can do.


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
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27 Responses to Helping Someone You Hate

  1. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, you pointed her in the right direction which is above and beyond the call of duty. Do not give in to her pleas for further assistance!
    This young ‘lady’ reminds me of a supervisor (my age) I had back in the 70s. She recognized me in the grocery store about a month ago. I can truthfully say she had to tell me who she was. The nastiness from within had traveled to the outside! She actually embraced me and I couldn’t help but cringe from old memories. Maybe in ten or twenty years you’ll see the same thing happen to your snidely neighbor.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t know why people are mean. I’ll never wrap my brain around it, doesn’t matter how old I get. I go out of my way to be pleasant…look for something nice to say like, what a great hat. You’re looking so well. I find when people encounter me, it’s the opposite. What can we criticize…let’s go for her jugular. Mystifying Skinny, to say the least.

      As far as the phantom in produce goes. embrace this, as you cheerfully go on your way.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Beverly Giangiacomo says:

    Even though “love thy neighbor” is important in life I believe it is also very important to do self protection in this life. You did the right thing, maybe minus the Vassar friends help thing, but gave her your best. You could always tell her that you’ll pray for her situation…heck, if she doesn’t think you read she’ll surely be shocked to think you would pray, especially for her!


    • Beverly,I love you read me…truly, but try not to censor what I write. I’m not a Catholic, perfect to the core girl…I’m not, nor do I choose to be. My Vassar remark was apt, and she’s lucky I didn’t slug her.


  3. Elle Knowles says:

    You have such a good outlook on life Susannah. You see things many of us don’t take the time to look for. That’s what makes you an interesting writer. Maybe she’s jealous. And why would she be shocked she actually read? Does she have a monopoly on that? Not a thing wrong with your reply! ~Elle


    • She’s bipolar, so I try to make room for that…but she’s so mean to me. And it’s a wound, though one that healed more or less. For most of my life I felt inferior because I didn’t go to school, hence my voracious reading. People at fancy cocktail parties would say things like…when I was in college…I’d say…when I was doing cocaine in Milan…I mean…I was a model, not a scholar, and if I had to do it all again, I would have opted for school. Hindsight is such a waste, isn’t it.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I expect your adventures as a model trump hers as a ? Certainly you know what to do with a testy landlord and she has to seek advice from an inferior (her word not mine). Says a lot, doesn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. MJ says:

    In this country anybody can get a college degree. It’s no indicator of intelligence or creativity, just that the grad stuck it out and completed a program. True, it’s an entry-level qualification for most better-paying jobs, but certainly no guarantee of success. Even Ivy League degrees are more often proof of the parents’ affluence than the graduate’s aptitude. I’m not knocking higher education, but it’s far more common than beauty, talent, and moral refinement. Those are assets you have in abundance, Susannah.


    • What a sweet thing to write. Thanks MJ. It used to really bother me, but not so much anymore. I’m self-taught, maybe not in mathematics or science, but I know enough to keep my self-esteem afloat. People have such peculiar issues. It took 60 years plus for me to finally be comfortable with who I am. Who said, youth was wasted on the young. If anyone knows being as well read, it’s you. Thanks a bunch.


  6. Online you can also answer the exact way you want to, you can rant and rave and insult, then erase it all, and answer the way you did… Yes, I have done this, written out exactly what I am thinking and feeling and then I delete… it is sort of therapeutic…

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Online is the equivalent of a fence in the suburbs. You gotta do what you gotta do. I have a sister-in-law who loves to get those digs in….bitch!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Always seeking to do the right thing…even with the mentally challenged. Susannah, no wonder I love you. :O)

    Liked by 1 person

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