Mistaken Foreplay

Why do men always think something means something else?  I know you’ll all take umbrage, but it’s a topic I wish to discuss.  images-1

I recently got a job for an actor I know…it was print, paid pretty well and knew he was a natural for what they wanted.  Corporate, urbane, slim as a pencil…a man with built-in style making it look easy, great for film.

That said.

We do the job together, goes well like I anticipated, get fabulous pictures that I suggest we parlay to glean more work.

He says with a big shit-eating grin on his face, “Hold on baby, lets just take it a little slower.  I’m married you know.”

When I came to, I said, “Excuse me?  There’s a campaign going on for Bank of America we’d be perfect for.  Pays 5K…what exactly is the problem here?”

“I know you want this to go further.  I knew right away, but I’m not just not sure I’m in the market.”

I wanted to hang his head in the market like a freshly shot elk.

Have you heard no good deed goes unpunished?  I’m crocheting it on a sampler.

This is guy who complained rather loudly he wasn’t working, so Gwenevere over here, hops on her steed to the rescue, and he thinks I’m trying to fuck him.

To my credit I didn’t castrate him verbally or otherwise, but he really disappointed me.

It’s happened before, those crossed wires you should have remembered to gingerly step over.

Camille, that sage of wisdom, always warns, “be careful what you say to a guy…I like your tie…nice jacket, because the next thing you know you’ll be up against the wall with a zipper in your mouth.”

Too long for a sampler.

I am so upfront it’s a wonder I have a back.  What you see is what you get.  Frankly, who has time for such intrigue.  I certainly don’t.  But if a guy thinks there’s a blowjob in his future just because you like his shoes, he has another thing coming.

Then again, that would be more wishful thinking.


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in humor, men, modeling, money, New York City, sex, Women and men and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

43 Responses to Mistaken Foreplay

  1. Elle Knowles says:

    You just never know, do you? Men are sometimes too full of themselves! Just keep being nice Susannah. It’s how you are and what you do best. He may be sorry one day when he comes around whining again. ~Elle


  2. I think guys see what they want to see, sort of projecting their own latent desires on the situation. Or I could be over-analyzing. 🙂 Hey, maybe I’ll get “no good deed goes unpunished” on a bracelet for you ;). It could work as the title of a book too, or a variant of it.


  3. micklively says:

    The real root of the problem is the effect you have on us. There are numerous studies that show a man’s I.Q. plummets in the presence of a beautiful woman. If you show a Labrador a piece of steak: nothing else exists for the Labrador but the steak.


  4. If I had that confidence we would be currently living in a different world.


  5. skinnyuz2b says:

    If this guy is all you described him as, he probably has had to fight off women he considered just friends all his life. I’d give him a teeny bit of slack for being faithful to his wife. But he definitely could have worded his doubt a lot better!


  6. I hope you laughed in his face!


  7. I feel your disappointment. I am very friendly and smile a lot and somehow that to men translates into: I want you! I am upfront like you, if I like someone I tell him that, there is no guessing games.
    I applaud you for keeping your composure and not giving him a piece of your very bright and creative mind.
    Continue helping others whenever you can, rewards will come from different sources. Blessings! 🙂


  8. MJ says:

    Ow, ow, ow…I’m howling with laughter, even as I cringe with toes curled so tightly it’s cutting off my circulation! Truly, no good deed goes unpunished. Hopefully, this isn’t a man with soul so dead that never to himself has said “What an a-hole I am!”, and upon reflection, is regarding his presumptuousness with an abhorrence worthy of Mr. Darcy. Unfortunately, not bloody likely.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Patricia says:

    Some men really are from Mars or maybe another galaxy entirely. Must be tough for them to never know a friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Guess he’s never seen a mirror he didn’t like. Bet he was surprised when he found out you never caught the scent. It was still a nice thing to do, Susannah. 5k huh? I wouldn’t mind taking the B of A’s money—and I don’t expect fringe benefits either. 😀


  11. I will only take umbrage from the fact that I am not that way, though I see it often and understand it. It happens when someone “knows” how good they are. It happens when someone is “wanting it.”
    I want to smack the guys because they are ruining great conversations for me with other women. Because they so often take it another way, women assume I am or will be. When I talk about my shoes, we are talking about my shoes. If a women continually compliments me, stands near me, or whatever, then I may think it means something else…me? I do a test. It usually involves mentioning it to her, asking her out, making some suggestions to see where they go.
    I think that is what I would want a woman to do for me if I was interested…they don’t, usually, by the way…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.