Oh God

I was brought up Catholic which explains why I no longer am one.  It did more damage to my psyche than I can say, thanks to my mother and the good old Catholic church.

Fear of God is my biggest complaint my mother using him as a weapon.  “God will strike you dead if you don’t eat your spinach.”

“God’s disappointed in you Susannah for not cleaning your room.”

“And God says, all little girls should be given to the garbage man who talk back to their mothers.”

She would make me stand in the yard with my little suitcase waiting to be picked up with the trash.  As a kid, you can’t imagine how scary that was.

So God became my enemy.

Cut to, 15 therapists, Prozac and two 12 Step programs later, and the God I believe in is Bob Hope in comparison.  He’s kind and understanding never turning away because of my many imperfections.

He doesn’t threaten either, but encourages and lends his hand.

Just because I no longer partake in organized religion doesn’t mean I don’t believe in a power greater than myself.  Just take a stroll in nature then try to argue there’s not something bigger going on.

I know two people who stood in line waiting hours to see the Pope.  Now I have nothing against him and like him, the way I’d like any great MC…but he’s just a front man for a massive organization that in my opinion, can do more for the world.

Catholic charities are up there, but it’s the congregants not the leaders who do the work.  Think of St. Teresa of Calcutta ministering to the sick with more criticism from the Vatican than assistance.

Catholics are notoriously noble.  I remember when I cooked for a soup kitchen every weekend for twenty man who praised my meatloaf and lasagna (that’s how hungry they were).  Not one priest ever came to help or even say hello and always claimed the volunteers were never doing enough.

That was when the glue started loosening on the leaves of my bible.

Some of the meanest people I know are Christians.  They gossip, ignore, punish if you’re not one of their ilk.  They’d never stop for a person in need because they’re en route to mass and will be late, seeming to miss the point.

I believe in the God of goodness who brings that out in me not needing to kneel, stand or cross myself till my eyes follow suit.

I’ve happily exchanged my hair-shirt for something less scratchy.

And for this, Oh God, I’m grateful.   god_man_hands


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in Faith, Family, food, Gratitude, Home, Love, New York City, parents, religion and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to Oh God

  1. Exactly! Jesus was a doer and I prefer to follow that example.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. skinnyuz2b says:

    I agree wholeheartedly, Susannah.


  3. This is right on target. Often the most “devout” are the most devious.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. LauraBelle says:

    I have always had a problem with people hiding behind their religion. If I picked the top 5 worst (bordering on evil) people I know, 4 are devout christians. I know not all christians are bad, I have one super religious friend and she is one of the best people I know, but my bad experiences with christians far outweigh the good. I try not to be biased about it, but when I see the things repeatedly I just can’t help it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Got nothing against Pope Francis, he seems like a nice enough guy. But if you watch the movies, especially the older one’s, It always seems like the priest is always a doer. Putting himself out there and going the extra mile for the individual in need. A practitioner of what he teaches. Maybe the church should watch more movies. Great points all, Susannah. :o)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Patricia says:

    So sad the way God was made out to be a horrible dictator in your young life. My family wasn’t what you would call religious, just plain ole Catholics. God was always the good guy. Even when He gave orders I didn’t like I knew He would never do anything to hurt me because He loves His people. Also sad that you see Christians the way you do. Some are good and some are not, but Christians are just people doing their best like everyone else. Perfection is a goal that no one except Jesus has ever attained here on earth.


  7. It says in the Bible that God is love; it never says that God is guilt-trip. In other words, I agree with you. I wonder how God feels when people tell children that He is going to punish them for not eating their peas.


  8. micklively says:

    I am, as you know, a devout atheist. So many people use “god” as a label for so many different things, that the word almost means nothing. As long as “god” motivates people to do good things, I don’t have a problem. Alas, that is often not the case.


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