I’m So Sorry

I like to think of myself as a really nice girl, and I am.  But even nice girls slip once in a while.

I was called to participate in a focus group on hearing loss.  If there was anything I was right for, it was this.  I got paid handsomely to say, “What did ya say?” for two hours.

When I got there waiting for it to start, a fellow focuser came in sitting across from me immediately jumping on her phone.  I was already having discomfort from the ambient noise buzzing out of a huge heating system making it difficult to hear.

Her loud conversation piggybacked onto that, compromising this nice girl.

I tried containing my irritation flipping through magazines, counting to ten, but after fifteen minutes of her flagrant unconsciousness, I had had enough.

“Excuse me, do you think you can maybe take that in the hall?  It’s really disturbing me?”

She gave me a sidewards glance without even taking a breath clearly not caring one way or the other.  Then two more people came in also a little taken aback by her behavior so finally, she ended the call.

The recruiter then came to call the roll, and this woman wasn’t on it.  There was some error made, and they never confirmed her for the group.  I thought she was going to cry.

When she got up, I really noticed what tough shape she was in.  Heavy, bent over, used a cane…a train wreck concealed in a body.  Her clothes were in need of a good clean while the rest of her just required plain care.  My shame over losing patience washed over me.

We’re not all culturally, or necessarily even civilly, together.  Some of us have serious threads hanging in those areas.  I’m blessed to say I don’t, but I need to recognize others who slip in front of me.

I thought about her a lot the rest of the day.  How hard it must be walking, communicating, hence what that phone call was probably all about.  Having to fight your way through life’s…you weren’t confirmed for the group, not to mention missing out on the money.

There are no accidents.  I was meant to be assaulted by her manic phone call to remind me to take pause before taking offense.


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in Health, media, New York City, women and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

32 Responses to I’m So Sorry

  1. micklively says:

    Don’t be too hard on yourself. She lives in the same big world that doesn’t care and has almost certainly made the same or similar mistakes.


  2. I’ve too, have been in similar situations, Susannah, where I’ve behaved with regrets which have haunted me for day’s after. It’s enough to give you pause.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, you’re only human like the rest of us. We all have moments we wish we could go back, rewind, and redo. Most of those regretted moments are when we have hurt the feelings of someone else. The fact that we regret those moments is what makes us better in the future. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Patricia says:

    I have a friend who says there are no accidents or coincidences, they are divine appointments. I like to think she is right.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m not sure why you feel so badly. She was being rude. Sounds like she has more issues than rudeness but you didn’t cause them. I am sure you asked her nicely. She didn’t respond. She got karma.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Karma works both ways. I forget who I said this to, Paul maybe, but this is how people treat me with my hearing loss. No patience whatsoever. I have a thing, as you know, about people publicly on their phones which is why it probably keeps coming up. I did ask her nicely, but when I saw the shape she was in my heart got whiplash.



  6. Gail Kaufman says:

    Susannah, I think you’re being way too hard on yourself. You did say, “excuse me” and it sounds like you were justified. You seem to be a sensitive person and I doubt if you came across in a rude manner. Give yourself a pass on this one.


  7. The fact that it bothered you to this degree is the difference. Real impatient assholes move along shouting “next!” with their ways.


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