crazy-womanA friend said this recently about a painter that just couldn’t follow directions, like he was out to lunch all day.

People don’t listen, unfortunately, since I too just had this experience.  An acquaintance knew of some furniture I plan to discard…bed, desk, a chest of drawers.  The 26 year-old son of a friend was moving into his first apartment without much furniture.

So, in the midst of my own moving tsunami, I tell her he’s welcome to whatever I have, at no cost…glad to help.  Once again the old adage, no good turn goes unpunished, led the pack.

She writes back, the kid’s mother wants to come too, and I say, my place is torn apart and I’d rather she not.  The last thing I need is someone judging my errant housekeeping.

My friend writes back…understood, so I think okay, the kid will come and at least take the desk that is more than suitable for someone his age.

An hour later, the mom writes…oh, I don’t care what your place looks like, I want to come see if your furnishings are appropriate for my son.


Yeah, the mercury in my thermometer shot up like a lunar mission.   crazy-woman

I politely answered, this doesn’t work for me.  Maybe IKEA will work better for you.

She’s written back ten times, all missives I’ve deleted since, my store of generosity is firmly closed.  I ask the same question:



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in kids, New York City, parents, women, words and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.


  1. micklively says:

    People hear what they want to hear. It matters little what you actually say. Doing folk a favour can be a real challenge. But don’t give up!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. skinnyuz2b says:

    Mick is right, people hear what they want to hear. They add a little and delete the rest of what you say. I can understand that, human nature. But to be so presumptuous with what amounts to a gift is not understandable. What a clod! I’m glad you didn’t respond to her and hope you donate to someone much more worthy. Or maybe make a few bucks at a consignment shop.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I penned so many essays on that piece of plywood over file cabinets I just wish it got a good home. It’s a shame this kid won’t have it. His mother really pressed a button. You know what they say in 12 Step, if it’s hysterical it’s historical. It was that disrespect for my feelings button. My mother never cared about how anyone felt. It was always about her, and I need to be listened to regardless how trivial. Oh Skinny, we really our complicated beings.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. edwardcres says:

    Damn, I’ve heard of looking a gift horse in the mouth but never actually calling in a Veterinary Orthodontist. And Mom needs an Oxy-aceteline torch to cut that titanium umbilical cord. It’s a desk, Madam, not mole on his forehead.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I kind of feel badly for the kid. Can’t he make his own decision? I think you are right. She had an ulterior motive.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Vasca says:

    Poor kid…Mommy was planning a ‘snoop test’…dying to see what you had behind closed doors! Sonny will make his get-away some day…hopefully…and with good fortune live happily ever after.


  6. Elle Knowles says:

    It’s call half-listening and all about her. If that mother only knew to let go of control with her grown adult child she would be so much happier. Hopefully your desk gets a good home regardless.


    • Doesn’t look good unless someone who is in charge of renovations takes it. Once I’m gone, it’s out of my hands. The kicker here is, my friend, the middle man, isn’t speaking to me. Another controlling force. I’ll tell ya Elle, ain’t easy out there.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Elle Knowles says:

    Oh no! Well with friends like that you hardly need enemies.


  8. MJ says:

    A 26-year-old man can’t pick out basic furnishings—give-aways yet—without his mother in tow? If that’s an indication of his cognitive and emotional development, he should be in a group home or an assisted living community, not his own apartment. Desk acquisition isn’t a matter of life and death, but food sure is. I guess this woman will be doing his food shopping and cooking, too, lest he starve or set the place on fire. But if her son hasn’t been diagnosed with special needs, she needs one helluva kickass reality check—like from Manhattan to the moon. Hopefully your unwillingness to engage further will open her eyes. Maybe your mutual acquaintance can advise her to read your post and readers’ comments.


    • I’m laughing what little ass I have off MJ. You’re so funny. Motherhood in all its glory.


      • MJ says:

        Ah, Susannah, I’m really trying to be less judgemental. But several days on the road has set me back, especially the “Baby On Board” ilk. Invariably distracted and esconced in killer SUV’s, they feel entitled to preservation by virtue of having reproduced themselves. Well, I’m “One of a Kind On Board”, and maybe that guy in other lane is about to discover the cure for cancer. You don’t see us bumper-sticking for special treatment.

        Liked by 1 person

      • love…having reproduced themselves…sigh.


  9. Just think that these “kids” who can’t even grab a file cabinet for themselves, will some day be in charge of making bigger decisions that effect all of us. That is frightening!
    My son has a friend with an overbearing mother…dear lord. Once I asked “do you want 1 or 2 meatballs?” The response was soooooo long I just screamed “we’re not splitting an atom, it’s a meatball 1 or 2”

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I go through this so much I don’t even know how to pen a reply. People generally don’t listen AND they feel entitled…..! Wts, Wth, Wtf? Yep, I just smile and try to forget why they are morons…

    Liked by 1 person

  11. marymtf says:

    No one appreciates something for nothing, Susannah. If the son is shifting out, you’d think that he would be capable of deciding whether the desk is suitable or not. It’s what I call micromanaging. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, he sadly lost out I’m afraid. A shopkeeper I know came and took the two file cabinets that supported the desk away on a hand truck. I penned over 1200 essays on that desk. It served me well, and would have done the same for him. Sigh…motherhood.


  12. Mom was way out of line. I feel bad for her son though.


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