Pain Management

It sucks to be sensitive.

How’s that for an opening line?  My feelings get hurt or at least jostled every fifteen minutes making me believe the callous shall inherit the earth because the rest of us will be too busy sobbing.

“Oh Susie, what’s the matter, tell your readers, all 3 0f us.”

“Very funny…

I’m just tired of dodging bullets, that’s all.  Even friends are being unkind.  For instance, I lent someone one of my favorite scarves to wear on a date, who lost it.  Now accidents do happen, but she didn’t even tell me.  When I asked for it back she said through a post mojito haze, “got some bad news for ya Susannah.”  Apparently when you find yourself thrown over the hood of a Chevy accessories get misplaced.  I just thought a sixty year-old might have opted for the great indoors.  Wrong again.”

“Next time don’t lend anything, you’re much too generous Susannah.”

“Not lending is no solution, plus I don’t want to be a stingy little miser at this stage of my life.  What I’d like, since I’m not getting my scarf back, is some respect.  Shit, on top of all this, now I’m whining. ”

“You have every right to whine Susannah.”

“Oh shut up.”

“It’s okay, you can take it out on your 3 readers, after all, we understand you.”

“Then could you please take up a collection and get me a new Hermes scarf?”

“HERMES? YOU LENT HER AN HERMES SCARF?”

“I only have nice things.  Daffys isn’t one of my hot spots if you know what I mean.  I’d rather own one great scarf than twenty cheap ones. ”

“Aren’t we being a tad grand?”

“No We’re not.  Quality, not quantity has always been my motto.  I’M FROM CONNECTICUT!

“What else happened?”

“A guy I like stopped calling.  Didn’t even give a reason.”

“Then fuck him then.”

“I’d like to, that’s the problem.”

“Well he sounds like a jerk so you’ll just have to get over it.”

“You make him sound like a cold.”

“Is there more?’

“I lost another big job.  After three call backs I’m told now they want a girl with more hair.”

“Why can’t they wig you, you know, like Lady Ga Ga?”

“Lady Ga Ga?”

“Okay, Cher then.”

“That’s better.  I look nothing like Lady Ga Ga.”

“For the record you look nothing like Cher either.  So what happened?”

“Seems one of the ad execs felt I have too much of a Joan of Arc thing going on for their product.”

“Which is?”

“SOUP! THAT I’M NEVER HAVING AGAIN, EVEN WHEN I’M SICK.”

“Don’t cry, it’s not worth it, plus it’s business, he wasn’t saying anything against you.”

“It was a she who made two of me and drove a Harley.”

“Now we understand.”

“Doesn’t anyone practice diplomacy anymore?  I can’t kill a moth without apologizing to it first.  Kindness is becoming a thing of the past.

I CAN’T STAND IT, I CAN’T!”

“We think you should lie down.”

“No, I’m alright, really.  I’ve decided to just go on Ebay and bid on some heavy duty armor so if you hear a big clink, it’s me.”

“Then you’ll really look like Joan of Arc.”

“I make fun of everything, I do, but the truth is, people could be nicer to one another.

Do onto others shouldn’t be a myth stitched on a pillow.

“Susannah?”

“What?”

“That’s enough.”

“Okay.”

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
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19 Responses to Pain Management

  1. micklively says:

    You’re beginning to sound like Don Camillo! Very entertaining though. Keep smiling (and lending).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Elle Knowles says:

    Yes, you are sometimes too nice Susannah. But a good rant now and then doesn’t hurt anyone…lesson learned – don’t loan out your Hermes scarf – not that you have one to lend anymore. 😦 She should have replaced it. ~Elle

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Don’t you love when you can have the whole conversation yourself and don’t need anyone to participate? Makes good blog posts! New lessons learned — no lending out stuff with a value of more than $10. Joan of Arc was a complement. Yes I know you’d rather have the job but you take what you get. How we can turn Joan into something that pays the bills? Your rants are very entertaining. I am just so sorry that they are based on bad stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. MJ says:

    The hood of a Chevy? Not even a Jag? You go right on being generous, Susannah, but next time lend her whatever Isadora Duncan was wearing, Hermes or no!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Patricia says:

    You need a cat to talk to. Teddy would pay you a visit but he doesn’t have a job and no money for a plane ticket. That and if I sent him to you who would I talk to? There is Jack but he could care less and has a very short attention span.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Yesterday was our first day back in the office for a week. The doctor went on a much needed vacation, and we all needed another one by noon. I ended the day by sadly saying “why can’t people just be fucking nice!? It’s in the air and it’s awful,especially when it’s near and dear like your friend with the scarf…I guess we’ll have to put some lipstick on and forge ahead.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I have similar conversations with myself…! It can be fun, when it’s not frustrating.
    Sincerely,
    1 of your 3 readers…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Yes, it does seem the world has lost the ability to be nice to one another. So, Joan…how’s that suit working out for you? 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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