Cattin Around

images-1 There’s a cat the size of a seal in Petco flirting his wares.  His name is Snowdon, and he’s all white except for some tan around his ears.  He looks like a large Chanel spectator pump.  Against my better judgment, I keep going in to see him so we can hold hands, well paws, through his cage.  Now I know what it’s like visiting your beloved in prison. 

He’s so handsome, and it’s no secret I’d love a new, furry pal, but he looks like he’d wreck the place with his claws alone.  That’s what really stops me.  Not even the 200 bucks plus provisions I’d need to adopt him.   My new apartment at the moment, is very pristine.  And my friend who’s a decorator, is giving me lovely things like a Ralph Lauren white Damask couch and grass rugs coming any minute straight from the Bahamas.  I’ve never had such pretty things.  And though a friend I’ve consulted suggested the dreaded D word…DECLAW…I could not emasculate a man, four-legged or otherwise even smelling like tuna, in such a brutal way.  This decision, Snowdon and I maturely discussed, brought us closer.

I’m dying to run round the corner with my Am-Ex already on life support, to say…so ya wanna come live with me Lord Snowdon?

But then I look around and think…hmm…do I really want a man this size in my bed?  I kinda do, but still hesitate, when I remember what it’s like after the honeymoon is over.  You’re picking up his poop in a Black and Decker crane five times a day while he lies naked shedding on your new, unpaid, bed.  He’s demanding…waking you up no matter what time it is, and when you want to canoodle, he’s sawing wood unable to get anything up except perhaps his appetite.

Is this really what you want Susannah?

Thin girl’s on the fence.

SB

 

 

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
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32 Responses to Cattin Around

  1. If the cat looks like the one in this photo, and his name is Snowdon, the deal is done.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. micklively says:

    The last time I saw an animal with a face that flat, he was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon. It’s not natural. How can he breathe? His nasal passage must be behind his amygdala! I’m sure Gary Cooper didn’t have difficulty distinguishing olfactory function from basolateral complexes.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. edwardcres says:

    We miss having a cat as well, but not enough to get another one.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Well, you know where I stand on this decision!

    Like

  5. Elle Knowles says:

    Well, Susannah, you have to take the good with the bad. Weigh the difference. My niece puts some kind of caps on her cats claws so she won’t claw the furniture. Been doing it since she was a baby though so she’s used to it. ~Elle

    Like

  6. LauraBelle says:

    That is a cute cat. I think I would want to adopt it and I am not even a cat person.

    Like

  7. I used to love cats, until I worked for a veterinarian. I got bit daily by cats, sometimes several times a day. I was only bit by a dog once and it was a very small one so it wasn’t bad. I was a scrub nurse for the vet and helped in the declawing process, it’s not terrible if the cat is only going to be inside at all times, but, if the cat happens to slip out, they have absolutely no defense for themselves and that is very bad for the poor kitty. That being said, if Lord Snowdon does look like that cat in the picture, get those mittens for that kitten and do cpr on that card and have a snuggle or two… and this from a former cat lover.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh this sounds like a mad infatuation, this does.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. skinnyuz2b says:

    Here’s an idea, Susannah. I called my local shelter and asked if they had any cats that were already declawed. I would never do it myself, but this was a good solution. My Molly cat lived a good long life.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. My cat is over 8.5 years old. I have had her since 6 weeks. Did the declawing (gladly) and she and I are very good pals. However, when I think of the fact that most cats live 10-12 years, I wonder what I will do when she is gone. Getting a new cat just isn’t sounding good. The house would be cleaner, my allergies would be better behaved, and…I am not lonely like I was back then – I do go places and do things – so, not sure either. I feel your choices…
    Scott

    Liked by 1 person

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