I have been waiting three days for my rugs to arrive from the Bahamas. Apparently, there’s a problem on the loading dock.
I asked myself, is that the custom, to take so long?
Then it hit me.
CUSTOMS.
I forget, anything Bahamian is not American. You don’t just pop it in the mail.
I actually owe this revelation to Felix the doorman who, every time I come in or out says, “no sign of em’ yet….must be held up at Customs.”
Why would they be stopped? Are they smuggling something…heroin, hashish, Gucci handbags? Have they a past? Were they associated with a crime ring or the Gambino Family? I had no idea one should vet their carpets.
And, they were a gift. I’d never import, and as a matter of fact left to me, I wouldn’t have any. I’ve never even owned one short of a dog who wouldn’t move out of the way. My friends, who kindly insisted on making them said, YOU NEED RUGS, increasing my compassion for bald men.
So, trying to be open, I agreed. They’re grass rugs after all, and being from Connecticut, the land of tip-toeing barefoot across a golf course, how could I say no.
I have an image of them being smacked around by some short, mean inspector demanding to know where the drugs are hidden. He looks a little like Sean Penn if he were fat and sporting a toup, envious of their plushness. Were they searched, probed and scratched from behind, asked to spread-em like a women peeing at a matinee?
My poor rugs. Rumor has it they might be sprung on Friday.
I’ll be here, along with Felix, to greet them at the service door. 
SB
You could understand why any parcel claiming to contain “grass” from the Caribbean might prompt a second look. As long as Customs pass them without trying to smoke them, you’ll be fine. Did you agree with the vendor who is responsible for import duty?
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Excuse me? They’re a gift so I’m assuming that included packaging Mick. If not you know what try can just do with that grass.
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What a great gift! I’m sure they will be worth the wait and will brighten your new abode.
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I am getting excited. I’ve never had a rug.
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You are a rug virgin! Wow!
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I am. There still on the dock being interrogated.
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Just keep your knickers on!
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Wearing three pairs.
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You do know about rug burn 🙂
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I do. Won’t be lolling on it, that’s for sure.
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“…increasing my compassion for bald men.” Oh, what a gem!
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I’ve never been a fan of the naked scalp…need something to pull, but…one’s heart opens at the darnedest times 🙂
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I am hoping there will be pictures of the released rugs. They must be documented you know.
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Rugshots you mean? 🙂
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Well, yeah.
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lOL
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I have a feeling once that rug hits the floor it’s not getting up. Of course I can’t help but chuckle thinking of it being all pissed off just wanting to catch a flight to NYC.
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The three of them are quite arrogant if you really must know since now they’re and boy, have they been trying my patience. Stay tuned.
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Hopefully they’re not stuck in a snowdrift somewhere on the east coast. Maybe someone is using them as a sled to get back home. 😉
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Sounds like their pardon can’t come soon enough.
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Stay tuned for further developments 🙂
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I have a friend who…hmm, never mind, I see a post in this!
Scott
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Pingback: Sort story, Thanks, Susannah… | Kindredspirit23's Blog
Thanks.
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Update, my latest post is the story you reminded me to tell. Yours is funnier, but I enjoyed mine.
I linked back to this post.
Scott
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Okay…thanks for telling me.
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