What constitutes one…let’s see all parts creating the whole.
There has to be an air to him, whether he’s in a fine suit or a pair of chinos. The way he carries himself is important. I know deportment sounds like bullshit from a finishing school, but it does have its point. There’s nothing more of an eyesore than a man with bad posture, like he’s hiding something between his shoulder blades.
Clean clothes also make the difference. Have you ever faced a guy across a table with stains on his shirt? My mother comes to life when it takes everything I have not to spit on a napkin and rub them off. A girl doesn’t need to know what you had for lunch at dinner.
Also, a man who takes the time to clean and press tolls self-worth like the bells at Notre Dame. (My friend Ed)
Women like a confident male, as long as he doesn’t boast from the appetizer clear through to dessert. It’s more in his demeanor than speech. Then it works the opposite. His need to bray translates into insecurity. OOH…THE LAST THING A WOMAN WANTS TO HEAR (or in my case, sort of hear).
And last but not least, good manners. I met a man I like, alas, though taken, for a drink at a nearby cafe who stood up as I entered. You want to turn a girl on? Treat her like a lady. It’s the nicest thing you could do for her. My femininity is rusty, and not because I’m wearing overalls and driving a Harley, I’m still quite the girl, just not where men are concerned. When my hearing went south, so did my colors folding like old Confederate flags.
One of those flags fluttered while getting dressed pointing to a favorite black dress I slipped into like an old friend who came a’callin. Sleek black hose, pumps…a Jackie scarf tied around my neck.
There was indeed a lady in the house.
My friend in his crisp white, open-collared (stainless) button-down beneath a deep navy blazer, a pocket scarf winking from its pocket, looked like a Polo ad with a slice of Tom Ford tossed in.
The definition of elegance, according to Webster’s…pleasingly graceful and stylish in appearance or manner. Dignity, poise, refinement and taste. Sophistication, charm, culture and allure. Polish, panache, dash and pluck.
Words that dazzle before a man or woman even tries them on.
There’s something to be said for taking the time to don that dress or fold one’s pocket scarf. A respect of sorts for oneself and those in your company.
As I faced my friend while he ordered for two, I remembered what it was like to be treated like a woman, by a man with distinction, a healthy sense of self and a wine list.