Have you ever heard the expression…
Do someone you love a favor, leave them alone?
I’ve often wondered if women with men know how lucky they are especially if they’re decent and kind. I see so many twisted relationships based more on money than love. Yeah I know, Susannah you’re not in Kansas anymore, and all I can say to that is, it’s a cryin shame.
A couple I’ve known for 20 years who have had a very long marriage, are having problems. I’ve sat with Mandy, I’ll call her, on a bench in the park numerous times while she complains about Roger.
Now I’ve learned to say nothing…listening, only responding when asked, not easy when you’re observing a train wreck. She just won’t let him be. He tends a garden at a schoolyard, a pure labor of love that from his efforts, looks like Eden, it’s so verdant and flush. While he works the earth, she sits there like his mother, eyeing his every move. The man is 67 years-old. Does she think he’s going to run off with a rose bush?
You see that’s the key right there. Don’t treat a man like your son. Let men be men, and I’m the first to say they’re far from perfect, but they do have qualities that can take you over the moon.
I’m an old-fashioned girl. I like when a man steps up for me, opens the door, helps me out of a cab. Chivalry, when spotted, should be swooned over, not shredded. Mandy, who in her day was quite the vamp, doesn’t allow Roger his manhood. You can hear his balls clinking around in her oversized Prada purse.
I invited them to my new house, for wine I said. Roger, all smiles said, “oh, we’d love to come.” Next time I saw Mandy, she chased me up the street. “You can’t have him over..he’s not supposed to drink. You need to take back the invitation.”
If I told you her behavior turned my stomach, I wouldn’t be exaggerating.
Again I said nothing, but my heart quietly strolled over to Roger’s side of the fence.
Another friend I have is not well, and he too has a very dominating wife who rules the roost without taking very good care of him, yet up his ass like a proctor exam scrutinizing his every move. I’d like to take both these women and crash their heads together like a couple of coconuts.
If they only knew how much more alluring they’d be if they just gave their misters a little wiggle room.
Do someone you love a favor, leave them alone, then watch what happens.
Those roses will bloom, only for you. 
SB
It’s easy to view a relationship from the outside and jump to conclusions. Couples find a “fit” (or don’t, of course). Some fits can look incongruous, whilst working admirably for the incumbents. Some blokes (and some women) like to be dominated. Some continually gripe about nagging wives they utterly depend upon. Some marriages look like utter hell from the outside; but the spouses die within a matter of a few weeks of each other. Like they say in Yorkshire: “there’s nowt so queer as folk”.
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I think I might need Berlitz to learn Yorkshirespesk. This is what I know being the swinging, single gal I am…life’s short. It could be taken away in a shot. Be happy where you are with what you have, and if your significant other becomes that insignificant cut him or her loose so they can find someone else who will appreciate them, and you another to love. From the archives of Susannah’s adventures in love.
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Been there, done that; kissed all the frogs and found my princess. It’s good advice.
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I do know how happy you are with your so very pretty, intelligent, funny, thoughtful, she’s a great cook to boot, Missus. And I’m happy for you. 🙂
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I’ll tell her. It’s our mensaversary number 174 today. I’m shopping for flowers on the way home.
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That’s so nice. 🙂
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AMEN! Growing up we had neighbors, Bill & Nancy…dear lord. Even as a child I knew Bill’s balls were under lock and key. It was horrible watching him on the porch every evening with his head in his hands wondering WTF he did to deserve this treatment. BILL BILL BILL could be heard all over the street. She never let him breathe because he “gave” her 6 kids. My dad let her know … it takes 2.
I wish Roger peace!
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Oh Top, how can you be this funny at 630 in the morning when my humor is still in bed snoring. Love…balls were under lock and key. Whenever I witness that, I am so happy it’s not me playing warden, doling out my affection like ShopRite coupons.
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Susannah, I’ve seen the situation you described quite often. And ‘ve noticed it’s usually a result of insecurity on the part of the browbeater. You’re also absolutely right about simply listening and not offering advice unless it’s asked for. It took me a long to learn that lesson.
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I learned that when I went into Ala-Non. It’s a skill keeping your mouth shut. Love the term browbeater.
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Don’t un-invite! Tell ‘Miss Mandy’ you are serving nonalcoholic beverages. That may not shut her up though. Seems to me she just doesn’t want him to have any fun…~Elle
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Who knows…their dynamics elude me to be perfectly honest. I hate being told what to do finding her demands very inappropriate. He of course colludes by not standing up to her. Makes me glad I’m single.
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When I was in my twenties my then-boyfriend and I would double with another couple who eventually married. They always bickered. It was uncomfortable so we stopped doing things with them. As I got older I learned to tell people that I’m uncomfortable with public bickering. Sometimes it worked for the time we were together and sometimes not. However when a friend complains about something I also learned to keep my mouth shut. It’s a no win situation. If you agree with them and things change, you are suddenly pointed to as the catalyst that caused it all.
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You’re absolutely right. Zip the lip is the best policy, even if you disagree. I also don’t care for being privy to bickering that if necessary, should be done in private, but people are very unconscious. It never ceases to amaze me.
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I have a friend whose wife is like this. He is an awesome funny guy, but he is kept on a very short leash and told what he can, but mostly what he can’t do. I have never seen his wife so much as crack a smile, she always looks pissed off. I know he is extremely unhappy, but he has already been divorced once and refuses to do it again.
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A story like this makes me sad, and it’s not an uncommon one.
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Wise insights, Susannah. ‘o)
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Like to think I have them, at less once in a while 🙂
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