Hash Wednesday

Yeah I know, such blasphemy, sacrilege and impiety.  Three great words, even if they imply I should be happily drawn and quartered?

That said…

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, where Christians of all sex, I mean sects, troop to mass to get their annual cross the size of Montana smudged onto their foreheads.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…always gives me the insatiable urge to Swiff.

It’s the kick-off to penitence: fasting, abstaining from favorite things like chocolate and margaritas, and we mustn’t forget service to the 20th degree.  Donning a hair-shirt would not be discouraged by the good old Catholic Church.

I’m surprised they don’t sell them at http://www.guilt.org.

Truth be told, I was the queen of self-flogging for most of my life.  Thanks to my dear mother wielding God like an Uzi, I was devout from plain fear.  When you’re told at 3 God will strike you dead of you don’t eat your vegetables, you take it pretty seriously.

So now, though I do believe in a power greater than myself, same as Jefferson, which could qualify me as a deist, I no longer go for ashes.

Deism…belief in the existence of a supreme being, specifically of a creator who does not intervene in the universe.

Layman’s language:  God will not stab you if you choose not to eat your spinach.

My biggest beef with the Vatican besides its miserly wealth and ongoing cover-ups, is the guilt it instills in its faithful followers believing fear of God is fundamental.

e13c484535b9fb68e95ac6ae74acd11b And there is that horrendous ash horrifying your face you’re not supposed to wash off, to fade on its own.  Yeah, well…I always got around that by going late in the day and showering, chronically forgetting about the fading part.


Hey, can a model walk in with Father Flanagan’s massive thumb print across her temple?  Maybe if she were a toll collector, or coal miner whose ash would, let’s face it, be rather redundant.

Blasphemy, sacrilege, impiety.

I have two more words for those participating in today’s ritual…

Elizabeth Arden.

I hear they’re running a two-for-one, deep pore, ash-less special through Saturday.

Just tell Liz, Susannah sent you.





About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
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18 Responses to Hash Wednesday

  1. Rob says:

    Maybe, belief in God the creator is akin to belief in nature? If that’s so, then maybe anything that promotes a little respect is a good thing? I’m with you on the guilt and ashes nonsense though.


  2. Instilling guilt on anyone is the worse thing you can do, having it done by those representing God is mind boggling. Unfortunately I did not get that memo until much too late in life.
    I’ll be seeing a lot of filthy foreheads today since I work at a Catholic Hospital and they’ll be pushing them like the perfume samplers at Saks “Did you get your ashes?’ “They’re giving ashes out in the chapel”, today I think my response will be “Do they come with a side of compassion?” that should shut them up.


  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, I’m such a great catholic that I didn’t even remember it was Ash Wednesday. I once (35 years ago) asked my cubicle mate if we got Palm Friday off. After she stopped laughing she replied, “Mary, I’m Jewish and even I know it’s Good Friday and Palm Sunday!” I wonder if she knew about Ash Wednesday, ha ha!


  4. I got my ash on. But I was cleaning out the fireplace, too. No wonder the Romans and Jesus had issues. Doesn’t sound like they were on the same page about much of anything. 😀


  5. I never liked cooked spinach. Does that mean eternal damnation? How about Brussel sprouts? I love them. What happened to all those folks who ate meat on Friday? Gives TGIFriday a pause!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Interesting, Susannah. Although I’ve been a Christian my whole life, I’ve never observed Lent and never gone to church on Ash Wednesday. That’s what happens when you grow up Pentecostal, who seemingly disavow everything remotely ceremonial or traditional as Catholic and therefore, not for them. Not strictly true, but you get the point.

    As for the nature of God, I have always thought of God as a loving parent, although I guess with the variety of parents, you have to be more specific. I agree that God’s not the kind that smites you for slight vegetable-eating infractions. After all, the message of the gospel is grace, right?

    Liked by 1 person

    • They teach you he’s a loving God in 12 Step..not a mean one out to get you. But any type of constant propaganda, even from your parents…especially from your parents, penetrates. I had no joy being a Christian God getting such a bad rap…I do pray and believe in a power greater than myself, but I no longer wait for lightening to strike if I’m not so perfect. Such a relief.


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