A Ring Through Your Nose

There I was, lolling in hot water for my monthly pedicure (at Thingirl’s worse moment she’s soaking), when a hysterical mother came charging in like a bull, in Gucci.

“My daughter needs help,” she said, as if she were lying under a bus. “Please, will someone help her?”

Naturally, all ten toes popped out of water like submarines to assist, when in walks the sulkiest 11 year-old, not a scratch on her.  A lady friend of mom’s was suppose to be interviewed for a school project, about jewelry no less, and was a no-show.  Honestly, this is the emergency?   So I became the replacement, which was like switching from Eva Gabor d42a9679b22c48efd341d2877bd74bf6 to Olive Oyl. images

Out came her mini iPad, the newest, little Kendall informed me, wondering if she might get her polish changed while she was there.

SHE’S ELEVEN!

Sybil, I mean Kendall, looked me up and down as if I were on sale.  “I see you don’t wear much jewelry, or is it in your Chanel?”

My Chanel?

“Well you know, it’s only 10:30 in the morning.  My jewels are still sleeping.”

Have you ever met an 11 year-old with no sense of humor?

“My mother at least always wears her Cartier signature bracelet.  She’d feel undressed without it”.

Maybe mom should be giving this interview, but kept that to myself since she was outside on her cell speaking to the chef.

“Frankly Kendall, I’m really not a big jewelry wearer…a watch, pearls in my ears on occasion, but that’s it.  Less is more for me.”

“Someone said you were a model.”

“Well that’s true, I am,” I said, finding myself preening a bit.

“But I had my doubts since you sure don’t look like one.  You’re not even carrying a bag.”

“So that’s what makes a model…her bag?”

She sighed heavily.

“Every model who’s anyone carries a big one with all her stuff:  make-up,  computer, cigarettes…her passport in case she has to catch a plane.”

“Not every model is Kate Moss ya know, Kendall,” I said, now getting annoyed.

“Clearly that’s true,” she said, while checking her Facebook page. “Don’t your lovers give you gifts?”

“I got a blender once…with four speeds.”  Again, no laugh.  Then mom swept in wondering if beef bouguignon would be too heavy for lunch.

Who are these people?

“Mom, she’s nor really what I need.  She’s just too dull.”

Dull?  Why you little heathen, with braces.

“Listen Kendall, when someone is nice enough to agree to help you, you don’t call them dull.”

I looked at her mother for confirmation.

“Well not to their face, anyway,” she said, smearing cream all over her hands.

“Well then, why don’t you call up Elizabeth Taylor…maybe she’ll talk to you.”

“Isn’t she dead?” Mom asked.

“Yes.” I shot Kendall a look.

This interview is over.

SB

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in Beauty, Fashion, humor, kids, modeling, money, New York City, shopping, women, writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to A Ring Through Your Nose

  1. Patricia says:

    How do these people find you? You need to find out and get on the do not contact list. Although, they do make for interesting/humorous posts.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. When we were in NY for the weekend I encountered one of these girls in the making, she was only 5 but ran the show. I never witnessed that level of entitlement up close and all I can say is it’s horrifying in person….as you know.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Imagine how she’ll be at 13!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Elle Knowles says:

    Made me laugh out loud Susannah! Like Kate, I can’t imagine how she’ll be when 13. You’re very interesting. She just didn’t know what questions to ask! 😉 ~Elle

    Liked by 1 person

  5. If I were eleven and female, I’d never act that way. Now at the age 12? 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  6. micklively says:

    I think you showed great restraint, Susannah. Maybe that’s the least model-like aspect of your character. Or maybe, since you’re the only model I know, I should stop leaping to ill-informed stereotyping. Which is where the brat is at.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Modeling is not just about glamour and hopping planes. It’s a serious business but little girls, having been one myself, think it’s all about their looks basing self-esteem and worth on them. Her mother should have her parent’s license revoked. If only.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, I’m glad to hear that the mom (the big brat) chastised the little brat for being rude to your face, ha, ha! What a great lesson! If I didn’t hear this story from you, I wouldn’t believe it. Just too much!
    Any other little girl would be thrilled to have you!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sounds like the girl’s problem started with her mother, who is giving her a first-class education in being entitled and rude. Sounds like she’s the dull one too, not even a sense of humor. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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