I’ve never been much into accessories, whether it be bracelets gracing my arm or a scarf knotted around my neck like a noose.
I’m told by some sick, though serious sources, having a younger man by your side is equal to a Birkin bag, the quintessential accessory.
What’s a Birkin bag? The ugliest (in my opinion), most expensive purse on the planet that seats six. Women sell their souls for a Birkin. I read, of course it was in the National Enquirer, a lady in Texas had her ashes placed in one. The urn of champions, one could say.
But I’m digressing.
This is about a woman whirling through her 60s with a man who could be her son, well, if she had him in the south that is. A Mint Julep birth, to quote William Faulkner, or Lila the florist, somehow getting the two confused.
Younger men, who live at the gym, reading only Men’s Health (and Hustler when no one’s looking) are a snooze. Okay, they’re nice to look at in their tight athletic wear and crisp Brooks Brothers suits, but they have nothing to say…no tales to tell nor lessons to teach. How well they did in the New York City Marathon compared to the year before is about as interesting as their vital signs. Give me an older man over Wheezer any old time, even if he does need occasional oxygen.
I do know women who live for how everything looks. My friend Camille could lecture on this. Like a man with a trophy wife weighed down in jewels, it’s saying, look I can still get it up…yeah, but at what price?
I don’t care how things look. To have to feign interest so you think I’m a happening girl is too much to ask of this thin girl. Have you ever seen a woman with a younger man whose age has caught up with her? Always remember, nature has the last say, and that 20 year difference doesn’t care how much plastic has adjusted your face – those walls will eventually come tumbling down.
“No thanks,” I said to Wheezer when he asked to buy me a drink. “I actually have my eye on that guy across the room.”
‘Yeah, but he’s gotta be at least 6o, my dad’s age,” he said laughing. ” Maybe you want to meet my father?”
“Your father? Maybe I do…is he single?”
Interesting men, over 60.