Is The Bar Open?

crazy-woman I can’t say, how often I’m annoyed in the course of a day.

People drive me crazy.

The tunnel vision, unconsciousness, self-absorption has become epidemic, and it riles me to no end.

When did courtesy leave town never to be heard from again, and where is it by the way?  Iowa, Oregon?  Two places I hear politeness still reigns.

Just now a man let a door swing in my face while he was on his cell.  I had a fit.

“Hey, pal…was that nice?” I said, rubbing the blood back into my forehead.

He shrugged like a 9 year-old though he was 60, at least.  No apology, no remorse, just him and his phone canoodling like illicit lovers.

I’m originally from Connecticut where manners are right up there with food and shelter.  I did hear though, that even in Greenwich, please and thank-you have been on the lam.

That extra second to be courteous can make the difference in someone’s day.  When I let an elderly man go ahead of me in Whole Foods with his one little can of sardines, his smile could have lit the world.

My ire got the best of me, as I sidled next to the guy who hit me with the door.  He said to his phone, “Hold on…there’s some nut next to me.”

“Nut, did you say…you wanna see how nuts I can be you arrogant asshole?  I’m gonna stand here until you apologize for hitting me with the fucking bank door.  HOW ABOUT THAT?”

I saw what a pussy he was, paling like I was Squeaky Fromme.

“Do I need to call a cop?” he said, attempting to have balls.

“How bout if I call.  Yeah, let me.”

I swear, he ran up the street like his ass was on fire.  Nothing like a real man to make you glad you don’t have one.

See, a little courtesy would have prevented this.  An, I’m sorry, saving the day.  But manners have become so foreign, they aren’t even accessible…out of print, no longer manufactured.

So, I ask, is the bar open?  I want to toast to Courtesy’s memory.

He was such an awesome, fucking dude.



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
This entry was posted in Connecticut, humor, New York City, Women and men, words and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to Is The Bar Open?

  1. Patricia says:

    Most of my irritation and ire comes from “I could care less stop bothering me” customer service people. Met with one of them today when returning a pair of shoes. 😠

    Liked by 1 person

  2. micklively says:

    A sad indictment indeed.
    You’ve mentioned good manners in Connecticut in a number of your pieces. I wonder whether that perception has more to do with when you left, than the people who live there? Is Connecticut any better than New York now?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Rubenstein, Hal says:

    I loved yesterday’s blog very nice, today….quite the rant, however there still are lots of polite people in Greenwich. I encounter them every day…maybe you should visit us.


    Liked by 1 person

  4. Elle Knowles says:

    Politeness has left the building Susannah. The “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is not taught in homes or schools. It’s all about the numbers and how far can I get before I die… Sad. 😦 ~Elle

    Liked by 1 person

  5. nikkispeaks says:

    I’ve lived in New York most my life, you think I would be use to it. I was getting on the train last week, and three grown men cut right in front of me out of nowhere so they could get on together. While I’m use to the lack of courtesy, it stills a appalls me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m sorry that happened to you Nikki very versed in train etiquette or more, lack of. No one seems to care anymore about anyone else as they hurry along in their own little world, and this I’m married to my phone sure doesn’t help…we could truly blame courtesy’s demise on social media.


  6. Isaiah says:

    You mourn the demise of courtesy and wonder how came it to an end. Two unsuspected assassins may have felled it: egalitarian democracy and transparency. Manners and the courtesy they beget are cultural constructs – which are necessarily exclusive. Cultural norms result from the privileging of one set of social values over others. Egalitarian democracy tends to the opposite. It abhors privilege and demands inclusion. The consequence is a diffusion of norms and responsibilities and the resulting breakdown of civility and courtesy. Consider the present Presidential campaign. It is decidedly uncivil and devoid of courtesy. Yet it has successfully given voice to those long suppressed and excluded within both dominant political parties. Conversely, Greenwich of old was emphatically polite but exclusive. As for the matter of transparency, manners and courtesy are artifices based on the suppression of the authentic, the real, the genuine, etc. One dare say, there is always about courtesy and manners a modicum of hypocrisy. Indeed, one might speculate that all things civilized, not just courtesy and manners, have about them a whiff of opaqueness. Present-day emphasis on authenticity, transparency and emotional and intellectual honesty fit courtesy and manners ill. On this view, egalitarian democracy and transparency, pressed to the limit, are incompatible with civility and courtesy. The authors of the Federalist Papers, acquainted with the conundrum, chose a Republic over a Democracy. The Victorians, too, were well acquainted with the choice and elected to be exquisitely courteous, implicitly hypocritical and profoundly undemocratic. If only one could devour a fine Victoria Sponge without visiting one’s gymnasium!

    Liked by 1 person

    • This is quite a polemic, to loosely quote, Alexander Hamilton since you mention the Federal Papers. favorites of me. He’s actually my beau ideal where statesmen are concerned. Visit him often at Trinity Graveyard downtown. Thanks for writing with such passion.


  7. Courtesy still resides in me. I open doors for people, say thank you, and such.
    Yesterday, after wearing myself (literally) out in the gym, I staggered to the door, but opened it to let someone come in. He’s not dead, Susannah. But you may not be living where he is around!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. They held a wake for courtesy last month. It was quite the affair. No one gave a damn about anyone else.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. skinnyuz2b says:

    My Pookie-Pie is rough around the edges, but is one of the most considerate people I know. I bask in his chivalry while he holds out a hand to help me up from my seat (I’m perfectly healthy) and assists me with my coat.
    I’m very proud to say that our four sons and daughters are carrying on the politeness. We’ve also taught them to interact with people other than family and friends, like waiter/waitresses, checkout clerks, etc. who are not viewed as faceless servants.
    I agree that there are more and more clods popping up. We need to wage a consideration/politeness war.


  10. Oh, if only courtesy had the same sex appeal as a cell phone …

    Liked by 1 person

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