Hell Is Other People

Jean Paul Sartre said that, and he wasn’t just whistling Dixie.

I’m so wrapped up in the behavior of others, it’s truly robbing me of my joy.

I can’t help it.  I’m too easily affected by what people say and do.

For instance…I have a gift for a friend,who’s been very kind to me.  I’ve offered to mail it, leave it with my doorman, not to mention, meet in person.

My offering, for whatever reason, is being ungraciously ignored.

Being busy, when one can cyberly communicate, is a weak excuse, not to mention, an insulting one.

He’s hitting my, you’re not in my league, button.  He’s very successful, so he’s in a different place, lifestyle wise.

It would be like comparing the Amish to an Astor.

But manners shouldn’t have borders, they should bleed together, like bolts of madras,

That said…

Then another man, because of his sheer stupidity, lost both of us a job.  We often submit ourselves as a working couple, so when the ad agency asked to see us, he didn’t understand why we had to arrive together.


Needless to say, that opportunity went south at the speed of light. He’s very lucky I didn’t see him face-to-face since, a shiner was in his immediate future.

Then of course, Mimi, my neighbor, is packing up.  I wrote about her move in Missing Mimi, https://athingirl.com/2016/04/21, and it’s about ready to happen.  I’m angry at her nephew and his wife who have taken everything but her gold fillings.  Hey, she did have to downsize, but there were things they asked for she really wished to keep, unable to say no since they were helping her so much.

It should have been solely about Mimi, not them nor anyone else.

I tried telling her gently, she could change her mind, but naturally, she wouldn’t hear of it.

My heart, that’s in peril on a regular day, went totally round the bend.

As you’re taught in 12 Step, we have no control over people, places or things.  I need to work on my resistance to what others do…disengaging, not taking their actions so personally.

Easier said than done I’m afraid, easier said than done.


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in Faith, Family, friendship, Home, Love, money, New York City, women, Women and men and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Hell Is Other People

  1. micklively says:

    Alas, you live in a world where public image is everything. But it is just castles in the air. It’s only there so long as everyone agrees it is. I am fortunate to live in a more agricultural environment. Don’t tell farming folk that their attire is “so last year”. Maybe we recognise that the pace of life is dictated by nature, and not open to human intervention, irrespective of how delusional they are.
    So what does all this mean? I agree “hell is other people” but then “so is heaven”.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I love Mick’s response and wish I was at that point. People just seem to be at their worst these days. We are so disconnected that the mention of “building a wall” is now more appealing than putting out the welcome mat. Beatings are recorded instead of stopped and eye contact and a handshake have left the building.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Agreed…I blame it on social media. The world is on their phone and can’t be bothered with niceties. It’s so hard not to be affected by the chronic shun, a skill one needs to hone…sigh


  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, it’s only natural that people ( like you ) who are empathetic to others will also be affected emotionally by their actions. In order to distance yourself you’d have to stop caring about others, and that ain’t happening!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Gosh, I don’t have much to say. Tops said it all for me. It’s like your dying post. Doing for others has to be about them and their wishes. Some don’t wish to be materially thanked. Since they are not from Connecticut (☺) it doesn’t occur to them that giving means something for both sides. I am so sorry about Mimi. Her relatives may not know her wishes and just want to help her to downsize. People are so complicated because they don’t say what they want or mean. I wish she could have said, “I’ll be sure you get it after I go but for now this will keep me connected to my memories.”


  5. Patricia says:

    Life is hard on the heart and getting old ain’t for wimps. Sad but true. Be true to who you are. The world, your world, needs you.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. What do you think: if hell is other people, then heaven is…still other people? Basset hounds? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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