A Thin Girl With Nine Lives

I just fell off a chair washing windows, too lazy to go get the step stool I bought, just for this reason.

Though my head banged on the floor, while my legs twisted like pipe cleaners, miraculously, I wasn’t hurt.

Boy am I an asshole,was my first thought.  How bout, thank you for sparing me just one more time.

I fall a lot, tripping over things, my head stuck in the clouds.  I write as I walk, editing hoping I’ll remember, when I’m next at my computer.

How many taxis have honked after almost hoisting me onto their fender, always so polite.

“Are ya fuckin nuts lady…watch where the fuck you’re goin.”

Yeah, I have more lives than a cat, but one shouldn’t push the envelope too far.

Excuse me while I take more Advil and soak in another silo of Epsom Salt.

I have one word to leave you with…

OW!!!

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in Health, Home, humor, New York City, women, words, writing and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to A Thin Girl With Nine Lives

  1. Susannah, you’re obviously having an out of body experience—acting as your own stunt double! Better you should demand adequate compensation from your more reckless side. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  2. skinnyuz2b says:

    I can’t say that I haven’t done the chair as a step-stool thing myself. When will we learn? And I’m glad you only got a peppered scolding from those drivers, you better be careful in that NY traffic! We depend on you to start our mornings.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. micklively says:

    Don’t die Susannah: we NEED you! 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Elle Knowles says:

    Falling in the privacy of your home is one thing, but falling flat on your backside in front of others is embarrassing. The plus side to being public – there’s someone always around to help you up again – if they acknowledge you. At home you better have your “I’ve fallen and can’t get up” alert on you! ~Elle

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Why are chairs (especially ones on rollers or wobbly ones) so much more attractive to climb on than getting a device that is designed to help you reach the high spots?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Patricia says:

    I fell out of a chair I was sitting in one Christmas Eve years ago. Broke my arm and tore my rotator cuff. No alcohol involved but there was a cat…Gotta be careful with chairs.

    Like

  7. Thank you Sue, and likewise. I’m happy to be back.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You’re too young to trade that shift dress in for a bubble wrap suit, so tell that inner rebel to put the cigarette down and help sensible Susannah get the damn step ladder. My nerves!!

    Liked by 1 person

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