Teed Off

My main goal in life, besides paying the rent, is to imbue joy and merriment everywhere I go, but every once in a while even Pollyanna pulls up anchor.

I’m in Panera contemplating cookies, when a 7 foot tall man comes in behind me carrying golf clubs.  I mean, this guy could play for the Knicks.  He’s arrogant as hell, ignoring the fact I’m ahead of him, asking Mahogany, the sweetest of workers, how much everything is when it’s all listed in Technicolor.  Alright, flirt flirt, I get it even if Mahogany doesn’t, answering each of his inane questions like a cocoa-colored cadet.  When he segues from chicken to soups, that’s when Polly snaps.

“Excuse me, do you think you and your clubs could possibly wait your turn?”

Now Mahogany, who knows me pretty well says. “I already ordered your bagel, so don’t worry.”

This seems to annoy Gulliver to no end as he picks up his clubs and says. “I’m outta here, you skinny white bitch. You need a bagel.  Try 15.”

This is when we must be grateful for a sense of humor, since me and Mahogany start to laugh like 8 year-olds.  She says, “So, should I order the other 14?”

I was on the floor while this guy stood there frozen like a lawn jockey.  Mike the manager finally comes over to referee, which seemed apt, because it’s the day Ali passed…sigh

images (1942-2016)


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in food, friendship, humor, media, men, New York City, Sports and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to Teed Off

  1. micklively says:

    Pick on someone your own size! 😉
    So pleased you marked the passing of Mohammad: one of my heroes and a sad loss for the world.


  2. Funny article but what does it have to do with Ali death?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, did you use your slingshot on Goliath? I guess he was used to pushing his way around.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The fact that he provided you with an array of weapons in that golf bag and you did not use the prison library to write this is nothing short of a miracle.
    As for Mr. Ali, he was indeed one of a kind. His conviction to stand up and voice what so many were afraid to say made him a champion to me.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Perhaps he didn’t see you because of his height? (just trying to be positive here) With my luck, he would have also been on his cellphone. I was in back of someone in a sandwich line and the guy in front actually finished his conversation before he ordered. Both the sandwich maker and me were going nuts. I was inches away from putting my order in.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s such outlandish behavior some of the things people do.I’m working today, and this morning in the breakfast line, a guy just cut un front and ordered. It was amazing, and it was 5 am, so I guess no one was awake enough to say anything. I was waiting for mine already or would have said..EXCUS ME?

      Liked by 1 person

  6. you are much more patient than I am… I would have either shoved him or grabbed the 7 iron and bent it… But, I am also in one of ‘those’ moods today! I also agree with you, Life needs to be writing more! Says the pot calling the kettle black….

    Liked by 1 person

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