My main goal in life, besides paying the rent, is to imbue joy and merriment everywhere I go, but every once in a while even Pollyanna pulls up anchor.
I’m in Panera contemplating cookies, when a 7 foot tall man comes in behind me carrying golf clubs. I mean, this guy could play for the Knicks. He’s arrogant as hell, ignoring the fact I’m ahead of him, asking Mahogany, the sweetest of workers, how much everything is when it’s all listed in Technicolor. Alright, flirt flirt, I get it even if Mahogany doesn’t, answering each of his inane questions like a cocoa-colored cadet. When he segues from chicken to soups, that’s when Polly snaps.
“Excuse me, do you think you and your clubs could possibly wait your turn?”
Now Mahogany, who knows me pretty well says. “I already ordered your bagel, so don’t worry.”
This seems to annoy Gulliver to no end as he picks up his clubs and says. “I’m outta here, you skinny white bitch. You need a bagel. Try 15.”
This is when we must be grateful for a sense of humor, since me and Mahogany start to laugh like 8 year-olds. She says, “So, should I order the other 14?”
I was on the floor while this guy stood there frozen like a lawn jockey. Mike the manager finally comes over to referee, which seemed apt, because it’s the day Ali passed…sigh