Blind Dates Are Meant For The Blind

By

Let me just say, I HATE WHEN ANYONE MEDDLES IN MY PERSONAL LIFE…even if it appears, I don’t have one.

It’s all about perspective, after all.

Okay, I don’t have a man in my life at the moment, more by choice than anything else.  I’ve been known to say, if I never have sex again, I have had more than anyone else I know, and I’m not boasting as much as I’m trying to quell the need for the masses to find me a husband who puts out.

When I hear, I have a guy for you, I head straight to a bar.  He’s always a dentist or proctologist from the suburbs with a two car garage when I don’t even drive.  Oh I have a license because some schmuck forty years ago felt sorry for me and gave me one, but with the exception of using it as an ID, hey…I’ve never fucking paralleled parked in my life, said the city girl.

A friend who’s hanging on the cusp of becoming a foe, has a friend.  They always have one they want to introduce you to who’s a-mayyy-zing, and you wonder, well…if he’s so a-mayyy-zing, why is he still up for grabs?  Hey, where I come from, most of the good ones are taken, so, you have to ask yourself, what’s wrong with him?  Is he dented, like a box of Raisin Bran that got knocked around on the conveyer belt, or on the rebound from a devastating divorce?  Let me tell you, there’s really not much difference in the two.

So, tip number one, don’t say okay to make your friend, who should have minded his own business in the first place, happy.  PASS…LIKE  A DIABETIC WHEN PASTRY IS OFFERED.

If you people please, trust me, you will be colossally sorry.  Resentment rules when you go against yourself to acquiesce another.

He’ll be drooling like you’re the appetizer, you’ll be looking at your watch.  For the first time in your adult life, you’ll want to pay for your own drink just to get the hell out of there.

I believe in organic attraction.  Yeah I know, many people have met online and on blind dates and have lived happily ever after.  Actually, I’ve never met any, but hear they’ve existed, like dinosaurs.

I’m still humming, Some enchanted evening, you will meet a HOT stranger across a crowded room, so Match.com, can just go take a hike.

As for my friend who will remain nameless, no Christmas card for him this year.

SB

 

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in alcohol, friendship, humor, Love, men, sex, sexual relationships, women, Women and men and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to Blind Dates Are Meant For The Blind

  1. micklively says:

    I had to kiss a lot of frogs before I found my princess but, in the end, it worked for me. I have to say, I don’t understand all the fuss about blind dates. It’s all about managing expectations. If you set out with the mind set “only a fairytale romance will do” chances are, you will be disappointed. If you say “I’m going to spend a pleasant evening, enjoying a few drinks/dinner/a film/theatre (delete as appropriate) with a stranger. Chances are, nothing more will come of it, but who knows?” Agree with your datee beforehand that that is the protocol. All will be well. Honesty is the best policy. If you set out with your head in the clouds, both the date and any relationship that might follow are doomed.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, I’ve been on a few blind dates (before Pookie), mostly good. I never went alone though, they were always double date thingies with the setter-upper. My only bad blind date was when we dined alone. I’d already crossed the very handsome a-hole off my second date list when he pulled out his wallet and asked me to count his money! Instant headache and end to the evening.
    There’s something about blind dates that makes me feel like Little Orphan Annie standing in line and hoping to pass approval by prospective parents.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I hear you Skinny. I’m not a big fan, as you see. Why we have to be paired off like Noah’s ark will remain a mystery to Oh Susannah. I like flying solo. I’d have to meet someone truly amazing to share my life with, and it ceases to be a goal.

      Like

  3. I’ve only had one and it was a disaster. It was in high school. Enough said. If this “friend” thinks you two are so perfect why not all meet at a bar or coffee shop first with an end time (maybe that’s why they call it happy HOUR). A date without knowing the person seems icky but then again, I’m too old for all that nonsense.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Patricia says:

    Why do people think living a single and celibate life by choice is weird, wrong, unhealthy, sad unhappy, unnatural, lonely… add whatever negative you want? Why do they try to make such people other than who they have chosen to be? It’s not illegal, unethical, immoral. As you can see this is a sore point with me so I’ll stop now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I always had someone when I was younger but I don’t now. I have my writing, my books. Peace is my goal more than partnership. That’s not to say if I met someone I’d rule it out, but being alone has many advantages. And I can always get a Teddy or Jack. 🙂

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  5. I had one, that I wrote about, which was hands down the worst experience ever. Did I learn? NOPE. I went back in for another and guess what … he’s still here. Yep!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Blind dates are a recipe for disaster if you ask me.

    Would love to have your comments on this piece though : https://rinsebeforeuse.wordpress.com/2016/06/23/an-ugly-heart-does-bitterness-effect-your-attractiveness/

    Like

  7. Kevin says:

    You know, I know this great guy on Staten Island…(just kidding). Great blog post. It is just a game of chance and your chances improve with the number of dates. Besides, what else would you be writing about?

    Liked by 1 person

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