Bald and Blonde

I’m in Fresh & co, the latest neighborhood quasi health bar.  Why quasi?  Their oatmeal has enough salt to attract deer.

I’m eating peach yogurt that, in theory, is supposed to quell my yen for ice-cream…a myth right up there with, I’m leaving my wife, and don’t worry, I pulled out.  We also have live entertainment.  A tall blonde and her bald beau are going at it shredding each other like cabbage.

Where’s your notebook when you need it?  The slurs are priceless, especially when she says, she’s tired of his bowling ball head.

“But ya said yous liked it baby.”

Well, not today she doesn’t.  I so want to be like Rod Serling in The Twilight Zone doing commentary.

So Blondie just found out she’s having Baldies baby…triplets as a matter of fact, and can’t imagine life with that many bowling balls.

She sees me watching.

Oops.

“Whadda you lookin at?”

“Who me?  The rain.”

She swivels to look out the window.

“But it ain’t rainin!”

“Yous gonna fight with her now?” said Baldie.  That got her attention alright, so her assault on his head began all over again.

I sneaked out right when he said, “But I loves you baby.”

A nice, smooth exit.

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in food, humor, Love, New York City, sexual relationships, Women and men, words and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to Bald and Blonde

  1. Hal & Kate says:

    Just another enjoyable New York moment ! Very funny!

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

  2. “shredding each other like cabbage” Love it!

    Like

  3. You’re quick on your feet. That’s a great comeback. Like Milli Vanilli said, blame it on the rain. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Patricia says:

    It’s boring where I get yogurt.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. micklively says:

    Relationships: why do we do it?
    Baldness is interesting. Some hairless blokes are considered very attractive, but can you imagine Russell Brand without hair? It’s like it matters, but also it doesn’t matter: where’s the logic? I don’t like my hair much but I’m pleased it’s still mine. Besides, I have a very lumpy head: best kept under wraps.
    Now if Mrs Baldie suffered a bout of alopecia, the tale would be very different. Dual standards or just less common?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, I can’t recall ever fighting in public. I always find it embarrassing when others do it, but great fun to talk about later if the fighters are related. And her bald comment was a low blow.

    Like

  7. I love being a fly on the wall. As a matter of fact, I think I’m going to add that skill to my resume and you should too. If nothing else it will get us an interview…hahaha!

    Liked by 1 person

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