I’m in Fresh & co, the latest neighborhood quasi health bar. Why quasi? Their oatmeal has enough salt to attract deer.
I’m eating peach yogurt that, in theory, is supposed to quell my yen for ice-cream…a myth right up there with, I’m leaving my wife, and don’t worry, I pulled out. We also have live entertainment. A tall blonde and her bald beau are going at it shredding each other like cabbage.
Where’s your notebook when you need it? The slurs are priceless, especially when she says, she’s tired of his bowling ball head.
“But ya said yous liked it baby.”
Well, not today she doesn’t. I so want to be like Rod Serling in The Twilight Zone doing commentary.
So Blondie just found out she’s having Baldies baby…triplets as a matter of fact, and can’t imagine life with that many bowling balls.
She sees me watching.
“Whadda you lookin at?”
“Who me? The rain.”
She swivels to look out the window.
“But it ain’t rainin!”
“Yous gonna fight with her now?” said Baldie. That got her attention alright, so her assault on his head began all over again.
I sneaked out right when he said, “But I loves you baby.”
A nice, smooth exit.