I’m in Fresh & co, the latest neighborhood quasi health bar. Why quasi? Their oatmeal has enough salt to attract deer.
I’m eating peach yogurt that, in theory, is supposed to quell my yen for ice-cream…a myth right up there with, I’m leaving my wife, and don’t worry, I pulled out. We also have live entertainment. A tall blonde and her bald beau are going at it shredding each other like cabbage.
Where’s your notebook when you need it? The slurs are priceless, especially when she says, she’s tired of his bowling ball head.
“But ya said yous liked it baby.”
Well, not today she doesn’t. I so want to be like Rod Serling in The Twilight Zone doing commentary.
So Blondie just found out she’s having Baldies baby…triplets as a matter of fact, and can’t imagine life with that many bowling balls.
She sees me watching.
Oops.
“Whadda you lookin at?”
“Who me? The rain.”
She swivels to look out the window.
“But it ain’t rainin!”
“Yous gonna fight with her now?” said Baldie. That got her attention alright, so her assault on his head began all over again.
I sneaked out right when he said, “But I loves you baby.”
A nice, smooth exit.
SB
Just another enjoyable New York moment ! Very funny!
Sent from my iPhone
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I am so glad you’re so easily pleased. 🙂
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“shredding each other like cabbage” Love it!
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There’s an art to fighting. My mother was a pro.
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You can describe it perfectly!
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Of course relating it to my mother makes perfect sense since she cooked while clobbering my father who was abused, but well fed. 🙂
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You’re quick on your feet. That’s a great comeback. Like Milli Vanilli said, blame it on the rain. 🙂
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I remember that song.
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It’s boring where I get yogurt.
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Lol
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Relationships: why do we do it?
Baldness is interesting. Some hairless blokes are considered very attractive, but can you imagine Russell Brand without hair? It’s like it matters, but also it doesn’t matter: where’s the logic? I don’t like my hair much but I’m pleased it’s still mine. Besides, I have a very lumpy head: best kept under wraps.
Now if Mrs Baldie suffered a bout of alopecia, the tale would be very different. Dual standards or just less common?
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I wonder what was really bugging her. Like Baldie said, yous said you liked it. 🙂
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Good question. The bloke is talking about bald heads; the woman is talking about what he said to her mother last week, albeit without mentioning mother, last week, or anything he said.
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Sign language of sorts.
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I think it’s a sign of something other than language: that wonderful oxymoron “women’s logic”. 😉
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We are very illogically logical…we are Mick. You just need to learn the language, like French or German. 🙂
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I am fluent in scary girlie-speak. It has taken me a long time to get here. Few of us ever manage it. “Abandon hope, all ye who enter here”.
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I hope Maeve doesn’t read that.
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She knows how to take a joke (she took me).
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It was those clown like leanings of yours. Lol…you’re one of the most serious men I kinda know.
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Susannah, I can’t recall ever fighting in public. I always find it embarrassing when others do it, but great fun to talk about later if the fighters are related. And her bald comment was a low blow.
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Yes, she hit him below his hairline, so to speak.
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I love being a fly on the wall. As a matter of fact, I think I’m going to add that skill to my resume and you should too. If nothing else it will get us an interview…hahaha!
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And flies are so slender. Yes, let’s be flies, but in flats, okay?
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