Women Who Dote On Their Men

june-cleaver I am one of those women who, when she’s got a guy, treats him like a god.  It’s in my Italian DNA, however, I do know how some men, after a time, just expect it as if we work for them, for room and board, and that occasional trip to Miami.

That said.

I ran into a photographer, that way back when, had a big crush on, one that stayed dormant because he was married.  Charlie, I’ll call him, was so handsome, with a shock of dark hair laced with gray, built like an Olympic swimmer, his biceps peeking from a well fitted Fruit of the Loom T, displaying strength from carrying all those cameras.  This was when Nikons and Hasselblads ruled.

When I recently saw him, wow, did he change, appearing rumpled, with thinning hair and wrinkled, like he slept in his clothes.  Those biceps were deflated like popped balloons, his jeans drooping while a beer belly made one too many cameos.  It was as if I saw him through a funhouse mirror.

And guess what?  He’s divorced, so no one is looking after him anymore.  His ex took excellent care of him, ironing his clothes, feeding him the right foods.  I felt sorry for him since he really didn’t know what hit him, reminding me of my dad when my mom left him.  He’d meet me for dinner in a striped shirt and checked golf pants looking like a test pattern, lost, since my mother always laid out his clothes.

And here’s the point.

Men need to be aware of women who show up for them.  Long term relationships seem to fare the worst, as if appreciation was locked in the trunk of their car.  It may sound as if we treat them like sons which, I’ll admit, is anything but alluring, so while you’re rubbing the ring out of that collar, it’s best to do it in a string bikini.  In other words, be sexy while scrambling those eggs.

My friend Anna said, “Bikini?  I’m tired at the end of the day.  Who can be sexy after 4 loads of laundry?”

You can Madam Clorox, or accept the fact he’ll always view you as just good help.

In the photographer’s case, he said, his wife got up one day and said, “I’ve had enough,” and the next thing he knew he was living out of cartons in a one-bedroom apartment in Chinatown.

So girls, get out that bikini, images-1and guys, say thanks once in a while or you too might be living out of a cardboard box with chopsticks to talk to.

SB…Couples Therapist

About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
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27 Responses to Women Who Dote On Their Men

  1. micklively says:

    I’m no expert. I’m on wife number three. But IMHO it has to be a two-way street: mutual respect, sharing of chores, support, quality time, both partner’s boxes get regularly ticked. Anyone reduced to a drudge is going to dream of something better. Don’t be surprised if they jump ship.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Gail Kaufman says:

    The image heading your post is from the era when TV wives vacuumed in high heels. If I need a bikini to do his laundry, he better wear a speedo to take out the garbage. Relationships don’t suffer from too much mothering. They fail because the TLC was not reciprocated.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Isn’t that the same thing? One gives, a lot, the other takes without much gratitude? We can agree to disagree about the bikini. I fine many women let themselves go after a while. Doesn’t help matters, especially where self esteem is concerned.


    • PS You need to account for my sense of humor that pushes her way through. 🙂


      • Gail Kaufman says:

        I love your sense of humor, Susannah, that’s why I follow you. Your style of writing inspires me, even when we disagree.

        Liked by 1 person

      • LOL…TLC is becoming extinct in my estimation. Had someone come back into my life promising to do better and it’s already dead once again. I would go to the chair for someone I cared about, but that’s me. It’s so hard to accept others who are monumentally different…sigh


  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    Mick is right, it has to be a two-way street. I do things for my Pookie to show how much I care and he constantly does things for me.
    Very perceptive post, Susannah.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love your descriptions. You paint a picture with words. Your pictures are a bit….ummm…Picasso-like but I love them! Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Elle Knowles says:

    hmmm…I should take heed since H has retired. And it is bikini weather here…I probably do too much for him. Now that he’s home all day it’s like having children underfoot again. I know. I complain. I really wouldn’t have it any other way…;) ~Elle

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Patricia says:

    I don’t think I was ever a dote-er. I have always been a loner. The occasional tryst worked for me. 😼


    • I haven’t had many men to dote on, a handful since he has to be awfully special to get that kind of care, so I too have been more of a tryst girl, till I hung up my sex-appeal that is…sigh


  7. I am the opposite: I like to dote on my women. Interesting thing: first, it’s hard to get them cuz they want the “bad boy”. Then, after getting them, they come to expect me to do more and more for less and less.
    Not doing that anymore – you are right – if I am going to dote and help and wear out – the least you can do is respect me (and wear that string bikini at home, once in a while).

    Liked by 1 person

  8. A few of my friends call me June, because I also have that Italian DNA. I’m fortunate to have someone who appreciates it. If you were raised by a doter, chances are the doting will live on.

    Liked by 1 person

    • She doted till I was about 13…when I got boobs, such as they were…bee stings she kindly called them, then all Italian hell broke loose…my mother with those pancakes after a few drinks you could use as paperweights…I don’t think June ever beat Ward, Wally and the Beav. I’m just saying. Sigh

      Liked by 1 person

  9. chubaoyolu says:

    Couldn’t agree more. It is a rare thing these days to find a woman who really appreciates and takes care of you. Definitely not wise to take her for granted… matter of fact, you should probably treat her like a queen. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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