How I Spent My Summer Vacation

I’m in a bar…a French joint on the Upper East Side nursing an overpriced Chardonnay.

The barmaid, with a freak of nature bust-line, hands me a note.

“I just love your glasses.”

Yeah, heard that one before.  Next thing I know, to my surprise, a middle-aged woman sidles up to me and says, “Would you mind if I try on your specs?”  Though startled, I say, “No, not at all.”

Feeling like an optometrist for the first time in my life, start discussing frames and why a face the size of mine needs width that rivals the Chesapeake.  I bring Jackie O into it saying, she had the same issue as did ET if he were shades shopping.  Not getting my joke, this woman, who weighs 8 pounds and sounds like Barbara Walters, says. “I’d like to discuss this further…here’s my number,” scribbling it on a napkin.  I watch her leave, a schelppy husband in tow, wondering, if she really expects me to call her.

Cut to…and once again, things are never what they seem, the barmaid who easily could be Miss September says, “It’s very sad.  They come in every day…she has tea, he a double scotch.  She has early Alzheimer’s and he just carts her around best he can.”

Talk about taking the wind out of your Raybans.

What does this say to me?

The world is in pain…I’m not alone.  The likes of this woman who the barmaid said, is rich and was once a very notable doctor in her field of medicine lecturing all over the world, has now been leveled where she can barely remember her own name.

To think this all started over glasses, mine filled with wine, hers tea, with Jackie, our eternal hostess.

If this is God’s idea of humor, he can just go to hell in an eyeglass case.


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
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14 Responses to How I Spent My Summer Vacation

  1. Rubenstein, Hal says:

    Love this blog, very interesting and very clever!
    Your ever loving reader !

    sent from my iPhone

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You do meet the most bizarre people!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Rob says:

    Always someone worse off than you.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. As odd as this encounter was, I’m glad you got an explanation from the bartender because my imagination went right to a threesome when she slipped the number.I know, but I am typing at 5:30 in the damn morning.
    I love that Jackie never misses an opportunity to make an appearance ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  5. skinnyuz2b says:

    How sad, Susannah. I’m sure she enjoyed her little chat with you, though. When I hear about this striking an extremely intelligent person, it makes me wonder just how well those “brain saving’ exercises work. Oh well, I’ll keep on trying to preserve those synapses.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I thought the same was as Life with the top down… a threesome, then, I went to my darker side of humor and thought, you could have a first meeting again sometime. There is always someone who sort of humbles you through what you are experiencing, that’s heartbreaking. Hope you are well.

    Liked by 1 person

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