Are You Drunk Or Just Happy To See Me?

I’m writing this in my head, standing in a very long line at Whole Foods, the Epcot of organic supermarkets.

There’s a guy in front of me who looks like a weight-lifter with arms the size of salamis, holding one item: a mango Chobani yogurt.

The woman in front of him has a good 50 things, yet won’t allow him to go ahead of her.  This positively kills Pollyanna as she fumes on his behalf. The man, who looks as if he could take on Syria single-handedly, is smiling like he just won a car.

I finally say to Miss, I don’t give a shit, with her many parcels, “Couldn’t this gentleman go first since he only has one thing?”

He quickly says, “No, I’m good. Don’t mind waiting at all,” sidestepping the sneer the Upper East Side charmer gives us both.

However, when she turns all the way around I see she has cleavage three feet deep that he, being so tall, his salamis at attention, is enjoying like a mammary matinee.

He winks at me, showing dimples that made me, and Pollyanna blush, like a coupla schoolgirls.


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
This entry was posted in humor, New York City, shopping, Women and men and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Are You Drunk Or Just Happy To See Me?

  1. Rob says:

    I think that’s what’s known in the trade as an alternative motivation. A bit sleazy maybe but so long as we’re talking consenting adults?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. No doubt after this moment his future mango Chobani yogurts will be consumed with an extra smile.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    Ha, ha, Susannah, there’s more to waiting in line than meets the eye! I actually think about the view while unloading and bending over the front of my cart and dress accordingly. The grocery store near me has too many questionable ickys waiting for a free show. Sometimes I’m tempted to deflate them by saying, “I’m probably older than your mother!”
    I'[m glad you mentioned the guy’s Popeye arms or I might have thought it was Pookie. His favorite yogurt is Chobani Mango! And yes, he wouldn’t have minded the view either!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. He deserved his reward!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Patricia says:

    Being patient has its rewards.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. They say you never know what battle another is waging, so have patience. I suppose the same can be said for rewards not seen?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ooohhh, that reply sounds like I hit a nerve. I meant he must see it as a reward. Not that it particularly was. Hmmm, doesn’t seem to be any way to say this correctly…oh well.

    Liked by 1 person

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