Pain Management

It’s the beginning of Labor Day Weekend.  The city has emptied leaving vast spaces of ease and silence.

New York is so vital that when it shifts, so do you.

I don’t mind being left behind, actually a preference since the peace in the city’s last seasonal retreat, restores and strengthens.

So what’s my problem.

I feel punched in the belly over a number of things.  Had a last minute job where a woman I know pretty well, a hair above me in hierarchy, treated me like a leper, treatment I’m still reeling from 48 hours later.

Someone I have such tenderness for also has turned his cheek.

What you need to acknowledge is…why you’re so affected by the actions of others you have no control over.

They hit a wound, that’s why, and one they can’t be held responsible for.

They’re the catalyst, not the cause.

Yet they feel as if they are, slamming into that hurtful place of pain and despair.

Have you ever fallen onto an already scraped knee?  It’s like that. Your skin was already broken, yet it feels fresh…pierced though its center oozing old feelings you’ve yet to deal with.

Alas, where am I going with this?

Nowhere really.

Will crawl under the covers, my ceiling fan overhead, whirling wisdom as it reminds me these unexpected visitations mean little.

You just need to let them pass like uninvited guests who will soon take flight.

Search for the light lurking quietly.  It’s there, hidden behind the cobwebs and dust bunnies beneath the bed.

I’m pretty certain of this.

I am.

Susannah

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
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13 Responses to Pain Management

  1. Your message hit home with me. About 4 years ago I put a review of a product on-line. I noted that the product (a pan) didn’t work for me because of the size which wasn’t included in the description but that I had others in that line and they were great pans. Today I got a notice from the on-line retailer that there was a response. Somebody railed into me for being so stupid. The dimensions were clearly there (now but not 4 years ago!). Anyhow, I shouldn’t give a fig. I have no idea who the jerk was or what it really was about (I imagine a darker motive) yet it wore on me all day. I have no idea why I was bothered. Sometime someone pushes that button you didn’t know you had and everything goes haywire. Realistically it’s more about them than you but try telling that to your poor wounded knee.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Have you ever read The Four Agreements? #2 is “Do not take anything personally.”“ Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. This is the short version.
    Easier said then done for sure but dead on!
    I would prefer if people would just stop being fucks so I don’t have to worry about taking things personally.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Rob says:

    You know you’re not a bad person. So it follows that anyone putting you down must have their own agenda. And so it also follows that their opinion is far from objective and not worth listening to. Rise above serenely and keep your own counsel.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, knowing it’s about them and not you is easy to say and so much harder to truly believe. Even believing doesn’t always take away the hurt. If we weren’t sensitive to some degree we’d just be cold rocks.

    Liked by 1 person

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