“I so love your parents,” Susannah to Ben Stiller on the set of Zoolander (2001). “Do you think you should be speaking to the director quite that way?” Cecil B. De Mille, Stiller.
“Can we move her please. Do we really need someone that big passing me with her damned briefcase?” Vincent D’Onofrio, Law and Order Criminal Intent (circa 2008).
“Hi, I’m Sidney Pollack. I need someone tall and attractive to stand right there…but just your back. Do you mind?” Random Hearts (1999).
“Get him the fuck outta there. He’s in my GODDAMNED EYELINE.” Al Pacino, about a wardrobe assistant on the film, The Devil’s Advocate (1997).
“They’re like rats. Get-em the hell away from me!” Dennis Leary, referring to a cluster of stunt cops on his show, Rescue Me (2013).
“Thank you so much for coming, I really appreciate it.” Steven Spielberg to me and three other girls dressed as flappers on his film, St. James (2014).
Susannah to Colin Firth (2004) at Saturday Night Live’s snack table. “Pride and Prejudice is my favorite novel. I just loved you as Mr. Darcy.” “I love me as well. Do you hoppen to know where they keep the crem cheese?”
“Would you like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich too? I’ll be happy to make you one.” Susannah to Keanu Reeves standing forlornly by the coffee on the set of Something’s Gotta Give (2003). “Yes please, and not too much jelly. Are you a production assistant…because my trailer is out of water.”
Susannah to Saturday Night Live’s Lorne Michaels waiting for an elevator at 30 Rock (circa 1999). “Aren’t you coming?” I say, holding it open. “I don’t ride in elevators with extras.”
A young girl approaching me on Sex And The City while playing an Upper East Side socialite. “Are you anybody? Should I take your picture?” “To be honest honey, if I were you, I’d save my film.”
“Omigod, I’m so sorry,” Susannah to Meryl Streep during the film, Ricki and Flash (2015) realizing I’m standing right in front of where she’s sitting. “It’s perfectly fine. Was nice having a moment to myself where nobody could see me.”
“So, are ya free later?” Warren Beatty to three different women the minute Annette Bening leaves the set of Town and Country (2001).
“Susannah to Whoopie Goldberg on the Whoopie Show (2004). “I’m so sorry about your friend. He was so talented.” (Splalding Gray had just committed suicide jumping off The Staten Island Ferry). ” “Thank you,” she said, “I loved him,” before giving me a great big hug.
To Steve Martin on the film, It’s Complicated (2009). “Are you writing anything these days Mr. Martin?” “I’m always writing, and call me Steve. God, I just love to write.”
“Me too. me too.”