Tits On The Bar

I used to be quite the femme fatale, though no longer, having retired my phone number like an all-star who plays no more.

When I hit, I’d say, 58, I no longer had an interest in being the seductress, though occasionally she does make a special appearance, you know, the way Joe DiMaggio sometimes did.

When I encounter women my senior, slithering around like old eels, it’s creepy to say the least.

There’s nothing more of an eyesore than watching one, past her prime, acting like a girl of 20.  Blame it on what she’s drinking, or the Bosanova, but frankly, neither are a good enough excuse.

There’s a lady I know who flirts like she’s got a mad tic.  Doesn’t matter who it with, she bats her eyes at the speed of light while saggy boobs pop out of her top like Pez.

I’ve been in her company, seated like a spectator watching a poorly written play that should be having its final performance.

I’m embarrassed actually as her attempt for attention gets more desperate, watching the discomfort it’s display causes.  Stop it, I want to say, but can’t.  Not my place, plus she’d never believe me anyway, thinking she still has what it takes to lasso a younger man that, by the end of the night, becomes any man.

Maybe it’s the Connecticut in me holding my reserve, but I never want to be Miss Kitty in a twinset that no longer fits…buttons popping, fabric splayed across a middle-aged paunch.  There certainly is no elegance in that, besides, if you really want to be attractive to others, have an affair with yourself.

Self-possession is the key.  It’s what everyone notices, more than your tits, that have seen better days, lolling on the bar like old, out-of-date calling cards.

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
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24 Responses to Tits On The Bar

  1. Rubenstein, Hal says:

    Extremely funny.
    Hal

    Like

  2. I love your description! I can visualize it all even the boobs rolling into the wet spots caused by drippy glasses! I don’t have the energy or the interest for that anymore!

    Like

  3. Lynn says:

    Susannah, the vision you have created of this women’s tits lolling on the bar made me laugh out loud!

    Like

  4. George says:

    Great last paragraph..:)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. micklively says:

    Love the language!
    You shouldn’t be so hard on them. In the great scheme of things, they’re harmless enough. The only ones they’re likely to hurt are themselves and they always seem to bounce (or flop) back to fight another day.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Enjoyed the story immensely!
    However, please do let me, at the possibility of not being granted publishing permission of my comment…
    I would accept an advance from you anytime, Dear.
    Scott

    Liked by 1 person

  7. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, I love your phrase, “slithering around like old eels”. I’ve seen it and your description is perfect!
    I’ve always noticed that when I wasn’t looking for romance, the guys came out of the woodwork. And if I wanted a relationship, they headed for the hills. I’d try to pretend I wasn’t pining for a beau, but the vibes weren’t the same as a real sense of self-satisfaction.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s when you’re most attractive. You’re the fox and they, the hunters. A woman that sits in the trap makes it too easy. That chase never goes out of style. Aloofness, on our part, doesn’t either. Aye…life’s too short Skinny for all this flirtatious drama, but alas, those old eels will ensue.

      Like

  8. I’m crying at the slithering eels….hahaha!
    Nothing makes me shiver more than one of those old eels sporting the word “Juicy” across their ass. I have a pillow over my face just thinking about it.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This is some great description. I’m glad you’re there to pass on this to us all.

    Liked by 1 person

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