I used to be quite the femme fatale, though no longer, having retired my phone number like an all-star who plays no more.
When I hit, I’d say, 58, I no longer had an interest in being the seductress, though occasionally she does make a special appearance, you know, the way Joe DiMaggio sometimes did.
When I encounter women my senior, slithering around like old eels, it’s creepy to say the least.
There’s nothing more of an eyesore than watching one, past her prime, acting like a girl of 20. Blame it on what she’s drinking, or the Bosanova, but frankly, neither are a good enough excuse.
There’s a lady I know who flirts like she’s got a mad tic. Doesn’t matter who it with, she bats her eyes at the speed of light while saggy boobs pop out of her top like Pez.
I’ve been in her company, seated like a spectator watching a poorly written play that should be having its final performance.
I’m embarrassed actually as her attempt for attention gets more desperate, watching the discomfort it’s display causes. Stop it, I want to say, but can’t. Not my place, plus she’d never believe me anyway, thinking she still has what it takes to lasso a younger man that, by the end of the night, becomes any man.
Maybe it’s the Connecticut in me holding my reserve, but I never want to be Miss Kitty in a twinset that no longer fits…buttons popping, fabric splayed across a middle-aged paunch. There certainly is no elegance in that, besides, if you really want to be attractive to others, have an affair with yourself.
Self-possession is the key. It’s what everyone notices, more than your tits, that have seen better days, lolling on the bar like old, out-of-date calling cards.
SB
Extremely funny.
Hal
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I’m glad in all your Connecticut splendor you thought so.
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I love your description! I can visualize it all even the boobs rolling into the wet spots caused by drippy glasses! I don’t have the energy or the interest for that anymore!
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I get it, totally. We could be reading.
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Susannah, the vision you have created of this women’s tits lolling on the bar made me laugh out loud!
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Well, I didn’t mean to be that graphic, but I just couldn’t help it. I rewrote it several times and those tits just kept on coming, as it were. 🙂
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Still laughing…..
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Then it was worth writing it. Despite the side trips into the more serious , it’s always the goal. 🙂
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Great last paragraph..:)
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I’ll embroider it on a sampler and send it to you. Well I would if I could embroider. 🙂
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Love the language!
You shouldn’t be so hard on them. In the great scheme of things, they’re harmless enough. The only ones they’re likely to hurt are themselves and they always seem to bounce (or flop) back to fight another day.
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It’s just fear of behaving in kind. She exists in all of us like an old evil twin.
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Could be. Or maybe there’s a primaeval competitive edge in all of you, even when you don’t want the prize?
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You think too much Mick.
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I know!
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🙂
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Enjoyed the story immensely!
However, please do let me, at the possibility of not being granted publishing permission of my comment…
I would accept an advance from you anytime, Dear.
Scott
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You’re such a masher there Mr. Spirit. 🙂
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Lol, I thank ‘e M’Lady
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Susannah, I love your phrase, “slithering around like old eels”. I’ve seen it and your description is perfect!
I’ve always noticed that when I wasn’t looking for romance, the guys came out of the woodwork. And if I wanted a relationship, they headed for the hills. I’d try to pretend I wasn’t pining for a beau, but the vibes weren’t the same as a real sense of self-satisfaction.
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That’s when you’re most attractive. You’re the fox and they, the hunters. A woman that sits in the trap makes it too easy. That chase never goes out of style. Aloofness, on our part, doesn’t either. Aye…life’s too short Skinny for all this flirtatious drama, but alas, those old eels will ensue.
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I’m crying at the slithering eels….hahaha!
Nothing makes me shiver more than one of those old eels sporting the word “Juicy” across their ass. I have a pillow over my face just thinking about it.
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That’s my least favorite label. I cringe whenever I spot Juicy Couture.
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This is some great description. I’m glad you’re there to pass on this to us all.
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