It’s 6:05 on a Sunday. With the exception of a few dog walkers and myself, the Upper East Side is deserted. Toss in it’s still in Thanksgiving mode and it looks like Dodge, just with a Duane Reade on every corner.
So to encounter Santa in my lobby in his red suit, sportin Nikes carrying his boots and beard that looked rather medieval, was a bit shocking even for New York.
Who knew Santa lived in the building, apparently on 4 with a woman who isn’t Mrs Claus, according to Felix the doorman.
Always polite I said,”Hi Santa, how’s it goin?” He looked at me with great irritation before saying, “How do you think it’s going? There are four weeks till Xmas and I’m already in demand.”
Hmm…so my instincts are right, Santa’s crazy. But figuring I’ll get an essay out of this say, “where exactly do you have to be so early…the North Pole?”
No, he did not laugh.
“Albany. At a dinner for some rich ass who thought Santa would be amusing.”
“If you don’t mind me saying, don’t you think a little Xmas cheer is in order?”
“No, I don’t. I’m being exploited once again by my agent who knows I need the money.”
Whoa, if there was ever a time not to believe in Santa Claus, or representation, it was now.
“Well, try to think of all the kids you’ll make happy, forgetting about money.” This suggestion did not sit well, as he shook his head, his eyes rolling back like a slot machine before marching out the door.
Felix and I looked at each other, then Felix said, “Do you know he’s Jewish?”
Who knew Santa’s real name was Greenberg.
SB
At least you know he won’t have to get down your chimney!
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He’ll take the elevator. 🙂
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You know the world is loosing it when DT is heading to the White House and Santa is really just a grumpy jewish guy from NY trying to make a buck.
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The world is going to hell in a Santa suit alright.
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OMG, a Jewish Santa! That’s hilarious. What’s not so funny is a Santa who doesn’t have a jolly molecule in him. Hopefully he doesn’t get too many Santa bookings, he’d make a much better Scrooge.
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You know how actors are. He’d probably be a great King Lear. Ho Ho Ho
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Just telling the story in this city just about got me charged according to the discrimination act…. mainly because people don’t listen and a few buzz words like Jewish (despite the fact that I am a Jew) gets people’s pulses raised as relief washes over them and once more their media education makes hate love. Orwell would love it
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Did I offend you? Wasn’t my intention. Just told the story as is. I make it a point not to alter an essay, but last thing I’d want is to hurt in you in any way.
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Not at all. Our turn of phrase is very different down here. We are very laconical in our irony 😆😅
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Ok. Making a note
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And this city would not have enough ambulances if half the women ever actually had a real orgasm. Australia has a very left origin. In fact this time of year I don’t think kids are even taught about Christmas anymore…. it may offend some. Not that it does… it just may. I have long been a member of the indigenous community here. It’s hysterical
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Maybe you could write about it.
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Plenty
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Plenty?
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My job involves a large component of writing. It’s cathartic anyway. Crime doesn’t pay is the old saying… insanity does 😂 have a great day. Thursday kicking off here
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It’s still Wednesday here.
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Going to be a beautiful day here. Sun is out. Moon starting to wax. In Capricorn I think.
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I’m just getting up. Rain stopped and it’s very warm. At least for December 1st.
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Have a fantastic first day of winter. Good evening for me to get some work done 😄
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Well, we’re having a tiny heatwave it seems. When people scoff at Global Warming I always say, how do you feel in your shorts and T shirt in December? Great, they say, missing the point. God help the polar bears. Sigh
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I hear you
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🙂
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Good one ! A cranky Jewish Santa Claus !
Best,
Hal
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Maybe you know him …he might come to an event near you
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Here’s a person who doesn’t enjoy his work. Perhaps he’s an unemployed actor and thinks it’s beneath him? He probably got paid AND a good meal out of it. Ok, so the meal was in the maid’s chambers….
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I never saw such a grumpy Santa before. He needs to hang up his sleigh since his charm is down s quart. Perhaps he improves when he’s on, but I don’t know.
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Sure hope so or he’s not worth the money!
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Maybe he improves once he gets there. Seemed as if he just got up in a bad mood. Coffee in a thermos could help, for the long drive to Albany. Santa needs a little care. Or at least an elf or two to carry those boots. He seems quite disorganized if you ask me. He needs me to straighten his closets. lol
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Bad Santa! Then again, maybe it was just Billy Bob Thornton in disguise? 😀
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I’m more an Elf fan. I still believe in Santa you see. Billy Bob is too edgy for me.
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Yes, Billy is a little out there. I love Elf. That scene with Will and Zooey looking at the tree in Rockefeller Center, really is what Christmas should be about. Putting smiles on peoples faces. :O)
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It’s one of my favorite films.
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And rightfully so. It has real charm, and lots of heart.
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Will Farrell is so cute…and HUGE
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Tallest elf at the North Pole! 😀
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I remember that.
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Thanks. 🙂
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