My face and I had a meeting that didn’t go too well. We met in the bathroom in front of a three-way mirror to consult what has turned into Pompeii of the lower regions.
My chin is headed south like a downhill skier, and it’s got me by the short hair, that’s supposed to make a girl appear younger.
Myth number 431.
Alright, I’ll rephrase that. Chopping off yards of hair does lift your demeanor a tad, those heavy layers draped like a tarp on a baseball field. But as time has her way, even a good trim can’t erase the droops.
I’ve learned to hold my chin up with my forefingers as I speak to someone, giving the term, keep your chin-up, all new meaning.
I say this with great remorse since I must seem ridiculous.
But so be it.
Going under the knife, the mere thought of it, puts me in such a state of terror, it could summon Dracula from the grave for one last curtain call.
To be knocked out, have some man who smells like Boca Raton, play with your features like Changable Charlie, chills me to the bone, and as you know, Thingirl has many. Did you have him as a kid? He was a movable puzzle that you could flip around to alter his looks. 
Charlie was reversible, like a Norma Kamari bathing suit.
Bushy eyebrows or skinny ones? A mustache or goatee? How bout a big red nose, just in time for Christmas?
I may be remembering wrong, but not that much.
Where am I going with this tale of aesthetic woe?
To my wine cabinet? To Saks to buy a veil? To the nearest shrink’s office asking to be hospitalized?
Of course she won’t know what I’m talking about since my index fingers will be holding my face in place.
“Keep your chin-up Susannah,” she’ll say, “and that will be 250 dollars,” same price as a really good haircut.
Sigh.
SB.
The best therapy is to stop looking at mirrors…at least with your glasses on.
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Lol. Making a huge note so I can read it without my glasses.
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Nothing at all wrong with the way you look. Plus you are a beautiful and intelligent soul with a cool sense of humor. Take care 😇
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Luckily humor has no wrinkles, well, if you don’t count her laugh lines that is. 🙂
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My problem isn’t so much the mirror, I think because we tend to see what we want to see and ignore the rest. My issue is with the camera. Photos (untouched and not taken by a professional photographer) are brutally honest, and I hate them for that.
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Yes, this is true, and retouched photographs give you that embalmed look, so take your pick. Own your wrinkles, someone said. Can’t remember who, but she was so happy with hers it’s a pity we can’t send her ours. If only.
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Susannah, a couple of my friends have had lifts and they looked quite natural. But of course, time begins to catch up again. I hope they don’t go for seconds, because the result won’t be so nice. It seems like the more trips you make, the more you look ‘pulled’. At least no one I know has fish lips.
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Yes, lips like a blow fish aren’t very attractive and you see many in these parts. I think writing about what bothers you is freeing. Had someone question that. My biggest goal is candor so I can say, I’m not such a pretty girl anymore, but it is what it is Skinny. There are worse things, like hearing loss. sigh
Have nice weekend.
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My mother and her best friend used to say, “We may be old and wrinkly, but at least we can say ‘we once were”. Susannah, not everyone can say that.
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Maybe there’s a grace in that. Now I know how my sofa feels needing new cushions. 🙂
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You are a very beautiful woman. Time will never touch that fact.
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Will you ask Maeve to sew that on a sampler for me…in really big letters 🙂
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I do the sewing. It’s not Maeve’s forte.😏
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Okay, so you can make it for me. BIG LETTERS remember. 🙂
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Keep writing. Probably quite a few of us identify with many of the feelings of it x
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🙂
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Still can’t find any wrinkle lines there
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That’s one of the boons of a cyber love affair Coyote. 🙂
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I say, just age gracefully—like a fine wine. Which (by the way) I think you’re doing wonderfully well, Susannah. And as for Dracula—by the way, that would be the delightful Frank Langella’s, Dracula—even he said, “Mirrors are the play things of mans vanity.” So let’s not be vain about this, shall we. ‘O)
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I wish it were that easy. I liked his Dracula too. I think he may just like him in real life. That’s what I heard anyway.
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Another good egg. 😀
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You’re too funny. You missed your Catskills calling.
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Better than the Poconos.
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Remember the alternative. There is a good chance you could come out looking like the Joker, and lord knows there is not enough anesthesia on the planet to make that go away!
You’ll always be a beauty inside and out ❤
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You said it, and there are jokers who aren’t at all funny, all over the upper east side. UGH
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