Old Models Never Die…They Just Hop A Cab To Their Plastic Surgeon

My face and I had a meeting that didn’t go too well.  We met in the bathroom in front of a three-way mirror to consult what has turned into Pompeii of the lower regions.

My chin is headed south like a downhill skier, and it’s got me by the short hair, that’s supposed to make a girl appear younger.

Myth number 431.

Alright, I’ll rephrase that.  Chopping off yards of hair does lift your demeanor a tad, those heavy layers draped like a tarp on a baseball field.  But as time has her way, even a good trim can’t erase the droops.

I’ve learned to hold my chin up with my forefingers as I speak to someone, giving the term, keep your chin-up, all new meaning.

I say this with great remorse since I must seem ridiculous.

But so be it.

Going under the knife, the mere thought of it, puts me in such a state of terror, it could summon Dracula from the grave for one last curtain call.

To be knocked out, have some man who smells like Boca Raton, play with your features like Changable Charlie, chills me to the bone, and as you know, Thingirl has many. Did you have him as a kid?  He was a movable puzzle that you could flip around to alter his looks.  images-1

Charlie was reversible, like a Norma Kamari bathing suit.

Bushy eyebrows or skinny ones?  A mustache or goatee?  How bout a big red nose, just in time for Christmas?

I may be remembering wrong, but not that much.

Where am I going with this tale of aesthetic woe?

To my wine cabinet?  To Saks to buy a veil?  To the nearest shrink’s office asking to be hospitalized?

Of course she won’t know what I’m talking about since my index fingers will be holding my face in place.

“Keep your chin-up Susannah,” she’ll say, “and that will be 250 dollars,” same price as a really good haircut.

Sigh.

SB.

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in alcohol, Beauty, Fashion, humor, modeling, women and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to Old Models Never Die…They Just Hop A Cab To Their Plastic Surgeon

  1. The best therapy is to stop looking at mirrors…at least with your glasses on.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Coyote from Orion says:

    Nothing at all wrong with the way you look. Plus you are a beautiful and intelligent soul with a cool sense of humor. Take care 😇

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Gail says:

    My problem isn’t so much the mirror, I think because we tend to see what we want to see and ignore the rest. My issue is with the camera. Photos (untouched and not taken by a professional photographer) are brutally honest, and I hate them for that.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, this is true, and retouched photographs give you that embalmed look, so take your pick. Own your wrinkles, someone said. Can’t remember who, but she was so happy with hers it’s a pity we can’t send her ours. If only.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, a couple of my friends have had lifts and they looked quite natural. But of course, time begins to catch up again. I hope they don’t go for seconds, because the result won’t be so nice. It seems like the more trips you make, the more you look ‘pulled’. At least no one I know has fish lips.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, lips like a blow fish aren’t very attractive and you see many in these parts. I think writing about what bothers you is freeing. Had someone question that. My biggest goal is candor so I can say, I’m not such a pretty girl anymore, but it is what it is Skinny. There are worse things, like hearing loss. sigh

      Have nice weekend.

      Like

  5. micklively says:

    You are a very beautiful woman. Time will never touch that fact.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Coyote from Orion says:

    Keep writing. Probably quite a few of us identify with many of the feelings of it x

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Coyote from Orion says:

    Still can’t find any wrinkle lines there

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I say, just age gracefully—like a fine wine. Which (by the way) I think you’re doing wonderfully well, Susannah. And as for Dracula—by the way, that would be the delightful Frank Langella’s, Dracula—even he said, “Mirrors are the play things of mans vanity.” So let’s not be vain about this, shall we. ‘O)

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Remember the alternative. There is a good chance you could come out looking like the Joker, and lord knows there is not enough anesthesia on the planet to make that go away!
    You’ll always be a beauty inside and out ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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