Is That A Penis On Your iPhone, Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?

I’m on the G train at 7 a.m. en route to Brooklyn.

There’s a young Asian boy sitting next to me clearly on his way to school, 11 years old, maybe 12, Googling penises on his phone.

At first I think, Susannah, you’re not wearing glasses. Maybe they’re trees, or some video game that looks like porn upside down.  Mind your own business.

Yeah, fat fucking chance, especially where a kid’s concerned.

Miss, she can’t control herself, reports for duty.

I slip my readers on, and low and behold…


What is he doing, comparison shopping?  And on the train no less.

My friend Jack, when I told him the story said, you’d think he’d do that in the privacy of his room.  Yeah well, providing it was, I’m a horny kid just learning the ins and outs of what’s suddenly going on down my cargo pants.

I’m thinking, peer pressure.  Someone made fun of him in a locker room, or he has a mean, hung older brother.  Maybe even a girl he likes, already sporting boobs, said something.

My mind is off to the racy races.  As he shopped schlongs like it was the Spiegel Catalog, I imagine all kinds of inappropriate behavior, my Connecticut aroused like whatever that site has on special.

As sneaky as I can be about tossing in my two cents, I truly don’t know what to say to help this boy my instincts say, is critically troubled.

I smile when I get up to leave, hoping it might inspire encouragement though, somehow doubt it…sigh.

It’s tough being so young, still a kid in many respects, about to take that giant leap into manhood.

I hope he finds what he’s looking for and it somehow makes things better, and possibly, a little bigger.


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
This entry was posted in Connecticut, humor, kids, men, New York City, travel and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

32 Responses to Is That A Penis On Your iPhone, Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?

  1. micklively says:

    I’m sure when I was that age, penises were only for weeing through. I hope we’re not heading for “designer foreskins”, to match “designer vaginas”.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Coyote from Orion says:

    Can’t say that I really leapt into manhood quite like that. Poor bastard though. Maybe on the train if he is trying to send a signal to anyone he should be a bit more subtle and just read Oscar Wilde or something.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Rossdemarco says:

    He was reading a dicktionary !

    Liked by 3 people

  4. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, I’m so glad the Internet wasn’t around when I was a kid. I had enough boob pressure from my classmates and TV (days of the pointed bras). My friends used to chant, “We must, we must, we must increase our bust. The bigger the better, the tighter the sweater, the boys depend on us.” The trouble is, the chant seemed to work for them, but not for me.
    I can’t imagine being insecure nowadays with all the images to compare against.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Loretta says:

    Ha ha ha, a morning chuckle for sure. It brought a smile to my face 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Back in my day they just put a sock there.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Gail says:

    Susannah, you crack me up. You’ll write about anything, and NYC is the best venue for a writer’s material. Think Woody Allen. It makes me wonder why so many creative types are drawn to the wooded areas of CT.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I remember my son Goggling “Bobbies” instead of “Boobies”. I laughed so hard at the thought of his disappointment. If you can’t spell it, you’re too young to see the results.
    If you track this kid down let me know, I have copybooks with penis artwork all throughout the pages that I saved to give to my son on his wedding day, but I can spare one. Boys……

    Liked by 1 person

  9. That definitely is a difficult, bewildering, curious time of life. I think the younger generation has grown up with phones so much that they don’t even consider other people can see the screens sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

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