Stapled Shut

Only I would get stuck on an elevator buying batteries at Staples, the Gap of office supplies.

It’s a one flight-er, an escalator going back down. I’m on it along with a black woman the size of Kansas needing post-its for her boss.

“She get so mad when she run out,” she tells me.

“Well, you tell Ms Message for me, to lighten the hell up.”

Yes, I said that, my empathy being at bay after the first five minutes, the classic claustrophobic that I am.

When she gets on her phone because yes, we have Wi-Fi in place of Muzak, the cage’s only redeeming feature, I become just a tad edgier.

“MADAM…PLEASE GET OFF YOUR PHONE…NOW…!!!!”

After startling her so, she jumps…all 250 pounds of her, and guess what?

The elevator begins to move.

Just another tale in the Naked City..:)

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in comedy, humor, New York City, women and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to Stapled Shut

  1. Elle Knowles says:

    Laughing!!! Good thinkg you had her next to you after all! There’s a lot to say about weight… ~Elle

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Coyote from Orion says:

    I like that song off KISS, Unmasked.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Soul Gifts says:

    LOL! My husband got stuck in an elevator once in a city store. Full of people. And you’ll never guess – a voice from the back says “I’m pregnant…” he and another fellow managed to wedge the door open with their briefcases. It was stuck just a bit below floor level. between them they helped everyone out. Not a single person said thanks as they walked off!

    Like

  4. Patricia says:

    Good thing she weighed in hefty if that’s what it took to get the elevator moving.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. micklively says:

    I love the idea of kick-starting an electric motor. The Road Runner would be proud. Bneep Bneep!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I hate elevators. I’m claustrophobic. I worked on the 17th floor of a skyscraper for 3 years. Bleah! Often took the stairs down.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hahahahaha! I know her face must have been classic!

    Liked by 1 person

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