I’m standing outside the post office with Mike the Maltese while his mistress is inside buying stamps. I do this whenever I see some idiot leave their dog tied up, out front, because they get so frequently stolen.
As Mike and I patiently wait, a nanny with a double stroller holding twins, I’m guessing around 3, is parked near us on her phone.
It’s a boy and girl in identical baby Gap suits complete with hoodies and the Gap insignia, tiny sneaks gracing their feet.
Saying they are cute is an understatement, and pretty well behaved…
UNTILL
The little girl leans over and bites her brother on the arm throwing him into a state of extreme…
OW!!!
Mike and I look at each other as if to say, “Did you just see what I saw?”
The nanny, so engrossed in her conversation, just keeps talking, moving the stroller back and forth as if that would somehow call a truce between them.
I finally, after she bites him again, this time on the leg, have to intervene.
“Um, excuse me madam, but there seems to be some violence occurring while you’re away in San Juan?”
No I didn’t say that, Mike did. Oh, how I wish…I just point at the wee wicked witch of the Upper Eastside who now looks like a little angel as if she has no idea why her brother is wailing so.
Women, we definitely have a knack for drama and denial, don’t we?
“He olvays cai theez boy’a, ol day, ol nite.”
“Well, just so you know, his sister bit him twice so, he has a right to cry.”
Now she starts to laugh like I made this up which really pisses me off. I mean, this poor kid. I have visions of him being constantly munched on like a little lamb chop.
It was then that Mike’s mother came out so my business is technically done, but before leaving, I lean into the stroller and say…
“Young lady, beware, because someone just may take a bite outta you.”
Could be my imagination, but I swear her brother just winked.
SB
My youngest brother used to do that to me and my other brothers all the time. Then one day after he took a bite out of my forearm, my dad had had enough, and threatened his teeth with a pair of pliers. That did the trick, but oh how I wanted to call him, Gumby. 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
Pliers sure would turn me around. Sibling rivalry even as infants. Lol
LikeLike
For four brothers it was practically a war, and yet today we’re as close as can be.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Like The Kingston Trio plus one. Or the Corrleones, a Michael, a Sonny, a Fredo and a Paul…:)
LikeLike
LOL I’m the one with the cotton balls stuffed back into my cheeks. Probably explains why the name Paul sticks out when mentioned in conjunction with those other Italian names. Then again, we could just be the Marx Brothers. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ey, Paul-ee 🙂
LikeLike
LOL Hey Rock! I stand corrected, I guess I am Italian. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so glad my kids were never biters! One day he’s going to be bigger than her and let her have it. Who’ll be crying then? ~Elle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Let’s hope so that little imp b
LikeLiked by 1 person
Whenever I witness kids doing things like this, especially those who look like angels, I think of the movie “The Bad Seed” … it’s an oldie but a goodie.
Hopefully you gave that little shark something to think about on the ride home.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love watching little kids. You see what they’re going to be like in a few years. A boy reading the Wall Street Journal, the girl suing for alimony…:)
LikeLike
Perhaps she missed lunch? 😉
LikeLike
Lol. She was a meat eater that little diva in sneakers.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe he peaked in her diaper? I never had a sibling close in age so I don’t know what normal is.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That makes two of us.
LikeLiked by 1 person
If you were my sibling I promise I wouldn’t bite you. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, but I might you…:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
And here I thought violence on the streets of New York had diminished.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s so funny. Lol
LikeLike
Loved his. Makes me wonder why our little ones will be like in the future! 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Little badgers, but cute…:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
When my son was very young he would take his sister’s toys from her (she was very young). I would tell him, “You mustn’t take your Sister’s toys. One day it won’t work.”
One night, I heard a God-awful smack and then nothing…I got up and went to the back of the house. There was my little girl quietly playing with her toys. My son was sitting on the floor holding his hand to his face – a face with the definite imprint of a little girl’s hand on it. I went back to the room. My then wife asked, “what was wrong?” “Just natural consequences,” I said.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a great story…:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I tell it a lot…
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s a good story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My brother bit me often. One day my mother got tired of it and after he bit me she bit him. That was the last time he bit me. I wonder why I didn’t just bite him and I wonder about my mother. Really, how many mothers bite their children?
LikeLiked by 1 person
This really made me laugh. I love the rhythm of the way it’s written. Even in casual jest, you’re such a good writer. 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Would have commented sooner , I missed a few posts . But I always felt that you would have been a terrific mother .
LikeLike
Yeah…sigh
LikeLike
When I ask my almost 3 yr old grandson if he had a good day at daycare, he replies, “Yes, I no bitee and no hitee anybody.” However, there are also days when he says ‘No, I did a bitee’ or No, I hitee Jake.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Kids are so funny. You can almost see who they’ll grow up to be.
LikeLike