She Bit Her Brother

I’m standing outside the post office with Mike the Maltese while his mistress is inside buying stamps.  I do this whenever I see some idiot leave their dog tied up, out front, because they get so frequently stolen.

As Mike and I patiently wait, a nanny with a double stroller holding twins, I’m guessing around 3, is parked near us on her phone.

It’s a boy and girl in identical baby Gap suits complete with hoodies and the Gap insignia, tiny sneaks gracing their feet.

Saying they are cute is an understatement, and pretty well behaved…

UNTILL

The little girl leans over and bites her brother on the arm throwing him into a state of extreme…

OW!!!

Mike and I look at each other as if to say, “Did you just see what I saw?”

The nanny, so engrossed in her conversation, just keeps talking, moving the stroller back and forth as if that would somehow call a truce between them.

I finally, after she bites him again, this time on the leg, have to intervene.

“Um, excuse me madam, but there seems to be some violence occurring while you’re away in San Juan?”

No I didn’t say that, Mike did.  Oh, how  I wish…I just point at the wee wicked witch of the Upper Eastside who now looks like a little angel as if she has no idea why her brother is wailing so.

Women, we definitely have a knack for drama and denial, don’t we?

“He olvays cai theez boy’a, ol day, ol nite.”

“Well, just so you know, his sister bit him twice so, he has a right to cry.”

Now she starts to laugh like I made this up which really pisses me off.  I mean, this poor kid.  I have visions of him being constantly munched on like a little lamb chop.

It was then that Mike’s mother came out so my business is technically done, but before leaving, I lean into the stroller and say…

“Young lady, beware, because someone just may take a bite outta  you.”

Could be my imagination, but I swear her brother just winked.

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in animals, Family, Home, humor, kids, New York City, violence, women and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to She Bit Her Brother

  1. My youngest brother used to do that to me and my other brothers all the time. Then one day after he took a bite out of my forearm, my dad had had enough, and threatened his teeth with a pair of pliers. That did the trick, but oh how I wanted to call him, Gumby. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Elle Knowles says:

    I’m so glad my kids were never biters! One day he’s going to be bigger than her and let her have it. Who’ll be crying then? ~Elle

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Whenever I witness kids doing things like this, especially those who look like angels, I think of the movie “The Bad Seed” … it’s an oldie but a goodie.
    Hopefully you gave that little shark something to think about on the ride home.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. micklively says:

    Perhaps she missed lunch? 😉

    Like

  5. Maybe he peaked in her diaper? I never had a sibling close in age so I don’t know what normal is.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Gail Kaufman says:

    And here I thought violence on the streets of New York had diminished.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Loved his. Makes me wonder why our little ones will be like in the future! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  8. When my son was very young he would take his sister’s toys from her (she was very young). I would tell him, “You mustn’t take your Sister’s toys. One day it won’t work.”
    One night, I heard a God-awful smack and then nothing…I got up and went to the back of the house. There was my little girl quietly playing with her toys. My son was sitting on the floor holding his hand to his face – a face with the definite imprint of a little girl’s hand on it. I went back to the room. My then wife asked, “what was wrong?” “Just natural consequences,” I said.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Patricia says:

    My brother bit me often. One day my mother got tired of it and after he bit me she bit him. That was the last time he bit me. I wonder why I didn’t just bite him and I wonder about my mother. Really, how many mothers bite their children?

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ross de Marco says:

    Would have commented sooner , I missed a few posts . But I always felt that you would have been a terrific mother .

    Like

  11. skinnyuz2b says:

    When I ask my almost 3 yr old grandson if he had a good day at daycare, he replies, “Yes, I no bitee and no hitee anybody.” However, there are also days when he says ‘No, I did a bitee’ or No, I hitee Jake.”

    Liked by 1 person

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