Boast On Toast

images There’s a downside to everything, even a coupon, as I sit in the very ritzy Russian  Petrossian Restaurant, about to inhale some complimentary caviar, an acquired taste much like Tab, or Cool Whip despite what it costs.

When I say this place is pricy I’m not whistling Lara’s Theme, a joke…get it…instead of Dixie, the theme from Dr. Zhivago?

Woody Allen said, if you have to explain a joke, it’s more a eulogy…but allow me to continue.

I order their cheapest vodka that’s not so cheap, to sip while I nibble the Cartier of fish on little pads of toast.  Did I mention I’m all dressed up?  Smoke and mirrors baby, never letting on how low the coffers really are.

There’s a man wooing a woman a few feet away bathed in enough mink to stunt its population.  He is, to my distaste, too zipped up in his 3-piece suit listing his credits in life like he’s applying for a job, while his date mechanically eats and drinks.

The waiters, in their old style livery – slim black pants beneath full, white starched aprons, mill about like overbearing penguins.

As I sit thinking of moving seats, I hear the woman say, “How nice you did all this dinner theatre, but I’m more interested in a man who stays put.”

The guy, seeming stunned by this statement says, “But it was in my profile, I’m a working actor.”

“Aren’t you the banker from Long Island?”

All I know is, I hope when their bill comes, John Barrymore and the Mink…

Go Dutch.

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
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40 Responses to Boast On Toast

  1. Coyote from Orion says:

    Very interesting piece in several ways. Even the ‘shape’ and structure of the story is distinctive. Evokes Chelsea, London very strongly for me

    Liked by 1 person

    • When I was a young model in the late 70s, I lived in Chelsea with four other girls, and one bathroom. We used the bidet to wash socks…:)

      Liked by 1 person

      • Coyote from Orion says:

        A lot of Russian money there

        Liked by 1 person

      • Really? Didn’t know that.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Coyote from Orion says:

        They put a lot in Chelsea football clubs and the nightclubs a while back. Russia provides a lot of energy across Europe now. They took a bad loss in Afghanistan in the 70’s and early 80’s trying to secure a lot of mineral resources. No one has been able to get into those caverns through history. There loss created an officer called Putin. As their military structure receded with the diminished satellite states and then the iron curtin came down… that military exoskeleton found a home with a more ‘family’ based economic structure that was already running Russian cities…. block by block. They have been quietly bleeding into other countries since the 80’s. The Russian brides you see on the Internet are not all that funny. Of course I knew this from the word go because they were cold calling me to say I was eligible. They obviously never saw me drink. If they check in with those Chelsea nightclubs they would not go near me. My performance on stage tonight would be akin to a hand grenade in the borscht.

        Liked by 1 person

      • You seem quite versed on the subject. As you know, Putin has been in our press quite a bit lately.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Coyote from Orion says:

        Have been reading the odd piece about him and following for 15 years

        Liked by 1 person

      • He’s interesting alright.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Coyote from Orion says:

        Hope all ok in NYC. Fairly hot here today. Got shot down bad last night. First time I have played on stage in at least 8 years. Glad I got going again though. Not a pointless endeavor

        Liked by 1 person

      • Play what? Guitar? Sax? Piano? Reading a bio I casually took from the library on Michael Jackson written in 1992. Whoa? Can’t put it down.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Coyote from Orion says:

        Guitar. Sounds interesting. Incredible talent. Who will ever know what happened there? Tragic. I remember my brother getting Thriller on vinyl when I was very young. Eddie Van Halen played the solo on Beat it

        Liked by 1 person

      • This book is called Michael Jackson Unauthorized, by Christopher Anderson, a writer I happen to like which is why I picked it up more than for its theme. However, I can’t put it down. His father, oh my…the abuse..he raped his daughters…beat his sons. No wonder Michael Jackson was so fucked up.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Coyote from Orion says:

        The father must have been responsible for a lot. Addiction affects many generations. Selfish illness. Have worked with alchies a long time. Very few have spiritual awakenings of any significant meaning

        Like

      • Well, I was raised by them so, I can attest that one can survive with integrity despite the disease.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Coyote from Orion says:

        Same. I became one to survive one. She’s been sober 20 years now. Me 17 years. I went to meetings for 10 years after being sober 4 years. The amount of criminal behavior being called a disease and that behavior not even shaking the hands of low bottom drunks disgusted me. I am a drinker that goes to the gutter where I have.met more noble souls than the most prestigious boys school in the nation that I excused myself from. The behavior of police officers in those rooms made me puke some. No significant change comes easy… not without spiritual intervention

        Liked by 1 person

      • I agree…and you just inspired a post I penned…No Is a Complete Sentence to air at a later date. Attaining sobriety is equal to a knighthood.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Coyote from Orion says:

        No is no. I went to a school where young men who are in the 1% are proud to never take no for an answer. There are a community of young women from the sister schools who profit greatly from this and exclude other women… especially the true thinkers. All societies have this…. the taliban simply drew the short straw in the PR reality show for the UN

        Liked by 1 person

      • I see. Well, it works for me.

        Like

      • Coyote from Orion says:

        Plenty struggle and die. On skid row i found many as good or better than me… as has my grandfather. My privilege is something that gives me a life so my education can serve the community. If I ever don’t want it someone who does can have it. Same with my sobriety

        Like

      • Coyote from Orion says:

        Partly why I was so affected by Carrie Fisher. Poor tortured soul…. Probably suffered so much because she did respect others and had some sensitivity for others

        Liked by 1 person

      • Me too. Just read her last 3 books…two not knowing she was lying in a hospital…the last, in memory. She wore her pain like a clown suit…love her for that.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Coyote from Orion says:

        A beautiful soul… like a circus freak or prostitute. Jung would understand. A true doll…. she couldn’t dance no more. A true ambassador, leader, and feminist for inclusiveness and constructive change.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Awe…beautifully said.

        Like

      • Coyote from Orion says:

        We have a health problem not a moral one. A shame many lawyers and doctors have no idea what this means. Last of the hush hush diseases and very equal opportunity.

        Liked by 1 person

      • My dad had it. Died so young and no one suggested AA in his time. I was 18. So what did I know.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Coyote from Orion says:

        Al anon. What does anyone know. The churches have failed us. The media has 3 stories to page somehow related to it then a 2 page advertisement by the revenue source pushing it. Messages are mixed.
        My mother was nuts. My father was a professional sportsman and blokes would top my mother’s glass up and then the hand would wander. At 4 I wanted to kill some men. I needed to keep mum alive. I was an adult early. I never had a childhood. I barely have a love life these days. I don’t do the social events in this country for thise chattering in millions and spending in hundreds

        Liked by 1 person

      • Alcoholism is very sad.

        Like

      • Coyote from Orion says:

        Lawyers have become parasites on their laws to allow rapists and murderers free reign… causing further stigma and hardship for the legitimate mentally ill. The real gentle souls get raped by those who have. What upsets so many these days is that we are not victims in the manner they expect we should be. Change returns. Success

        Liked by 1 person

      • Coyote from Orion says:

        Last time I was in London I borrowed an apartment in Sloan. I don’t like staying in London. I will go in for a purpose and get out. I find it dark. I reckon Birmingham must be similar now

        Liked by 1 person

      • I lived all over the place. They moved us around like chess pieces. Earls Court, Travalgar Square at a little bed and breakfast. Loved that the best. Right behind Buckingham Palace and a MacDonalds. I was such a kid homesick as hell.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Coyote from Orion says:

        Earles Court is traditionally where us Aussies hang out. I stayed near that palace for a night once. I ate something from a Pakistani vendor and was crook. Apart from theatre in the west end I can stay out of London

        Liked by 1 person

      • My memories are mixed.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Coyote from Orion says:

        I guess Knightsbridge is where Harrods is. Been a while since I was there.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Me too. My memory of how it was is always so steady. I remember being there when Elvis died. The whole city of London seemed to weep for the king.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Coyote from Orion says:

        Terrible. I would love to go to Graceland. I would love to see the Mississippi. Have you seen the film Mud with Mathew McConaughey? The scenery is amazing. The whole tone of the film is very lazy and easy with tension underneath the surface

        Liked by 1 person

      • I have not…I too would LOVE to go to Graceland. Bill Hicks is buried in Mississippi. sigh

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I can’t get over the doorway of this restaurant. It is spectacular. No doubt I would feel like Oliver just standing on the porch…”can you spare some change sir?”
    Glad to know you crossed the threshold!!

    Like

  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    Sounds like a magical setting to overhear a very strange conversation.

    Liked by 1 person

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