Winter decided to have one last blast before Spring comes to take his place. Yeah, winter is so annoying it has to be a man, not to mention, one who belongs in rehab if you could see what’s falling. Flakes the size of hankies waving from the sky as the little fucker, hopefully, finally takes flight.
New York is basically closed for the day if you don’t count the 24 hour places that are eternally open, God help the snow shift who will man their counters like a telethon.
I naturally, despite wild winds, went out foraging for coffee, Starbucks looking like an abandoned movie set. Not one to fight the inevitable, trudging to Hot and Crusty, the only place open whose coffee lives up to it’s name.
So I sat beneath lights brighter than a bowling alley in the company of Pedro, mopping the floor, and a hooker putting on her fake eyelashes.
Think Time Square in a snow globe.
Pedro, whose zipper was down, changed my mind about ordering a glazed donut. How could I tell a 4 foot 11 kid, the candy store was open, as my mother would put it, when he hasn’t slept since he left Mexico, along with his mop he’s now singing to.
Mind your own business Susannah, and try not to look.
Then the hooker said, “do these look natural?” Meaning her eyelashes that were now fastened to her lids like clam shells. “Yes they do,” I said, and they could also be used as fly swatters. No I didn’t say that part. I smiled and actually admired her efforts to look her best after a hard night’s work, and in inclement weather no less.
I then wandered to all the all-night CVS, where I met Juanita, the little Latino woman I see most mornings in Starbucks waiting by the door.
“Good morning,” I said.
“I wait fa Sta-boooks to oo-pan,” she said, staring at it’s windows like a Marine on a reconnasiance mission.
Having just run into Julie, the Barista, who said, since no one showed up but her, she was going home, having to break the news to Juanita who lives for her daily ham and cheese breakfast sandwich on a croissant.
“Hot and Crusty is open,” I said cheerfully.
“NO NO…NO HOT N CROOOSTY.” And could you blame her since you could plug a hole with their Columbian Blend.
“It’s either them or nothing Juanita, and it’s only one day. All will be back to normal tomorrow.”
This did not help.
I left her still staring out the window while I went home with my array of snow supplies including Snickers, Ice-cream and Oreos, because hey…what else do you really need on a snow day besides the willingness to enjoy it.