Pooped

There’s a man who fast walks in the park with a beautiful golden retriever he lets off her leash.

She runs like a colt, jumping in and out of the bushes, greeting you like a Campfire Girl.

The glitch?

She relieves herself in those bushes, while her surly owner turns a blind eye.

Manhattan has what is known as a Pooper Scooper Law, punishable by a 250 dollar find if your dog poops and you don’t scoop.  I’ve rarely seen it put into effect since, most dog owners are pretty good about honoring it.

Even though, since I don’t miss a trick, noticed this man doesn’t, I’ve kept my mouth shut.

Yeah, I know, since when am I so passive.  Well, I’ve learned to pick my fights, and poop, unless I were to step in it, then there’d be hell to pay, isn’t one of them.

However…

we all aren’t so magnanimous.

A woman confronted General Patton the other day, who ignored her and kept marching.

The dog, on cue, pranced over as if to say, “is this about me? I’ll bet this is about me (did she just smile? ). Oh, don’t let it worry ya, he’d never find it anyway, I clean up so well after myself.  You know how us girls are?”

The woman, shocked she got no response, looked at me in exasperation.

“Well, I just don’t know what to say?”

“You’re pooped?”

No, she didn’t laugh.

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in animals, humor, nature, Women and men and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

36 Responses to Pooped

  1. I laughed. I also loved the dog’s monologue. It wasn’t her fault her owner did not do his duty. For years I walked near the water on the north shore of Long Island. Although there were piles of poop every once in a while, I never saw a dog-walker refuse to clean up after his dog. I always wondered who was being so thoughtless of others.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Kevin says:

    I hate having to dodge dog landmines. We have a little lakefront park near where we keep our boat on Lake Washington and the beach is full of dog poop. Why? Why? it sucks. Sorry for venting but I like your post!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. There is a mystery ass in my neighborhood who takes the time to pick up the poop, and then randomly drops the bag with the poop on the sidewalk, tosses it up in a tree or in the back of a parked pick-up truck. WHO DOES THAT? More importantly WHY? I would LOVE to hear what his or her dog has to say about this level of crazy.
    I love the dog dialog. You know she’s just done with being her owners defense attorney.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, no matter what the rule, protocol, law, etc. there will always be those who feel it doesn’t apply to them, that they are the exception. Every buffet party has the obnoxious pig who helps him/herself before service starts, every line has the inconsiderate butt-in, and every dog poop has the ‘I didn’t see anything’ dog owner.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. micklively says:

    I consider myself a diligent scooper but I don’t take a machete with me. I reason: if I can’t get to it, no-one can step in it.

    Liked by 1 person

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