There’s a man who fast walks in the park with a beautiful golden retriever he lets off her leash.
She runs like a colt, jumping in and out of the bushes, greeting you like a Campfire Girl.
The glitch?
She relieves herself in those bushes, while her surly owner turns a blind eye.
Manhattan has what is known as a Pooper Scooper Law, punishable by a 250 dollar find if your dog poops and you don’t scoop. I’ve rarely seen it put into effect since, most dog owners are pretty good about honoring it.
Even though, since I don’t miss a trick, noticed this man doesn’t, I’ve kept my mouth shut.
Yeah, I know, since when am I so passive. Well, I’ve learned to pick my fights, and poop, unless I were to step in it, then there’d be hell to pay, isn’t one of them.
However…
we all aren’t so magnanimous.
A woman confronted General Patton the other day, who ignored her and kept marching.
The dog, on cue, pranced over as if to say, “is this about me? I’ll bet this is about me (did she just smile? ). Oh, don’t let it worry ya, he’d never find it anyway, I clean up so well after myself. You know how us girls are?”
The woman, shocked she got no response, looked at me in exasperation.
“Well, I just don’t know what to say?”
“You’re pooped?”
No, she didn’t laugh.
SB
I laughed. I also loved the dog’s monologue. It wasn’t her fault her owner did not do his duty. For years I walked near the water on the north shore of Long Island. Although there were piles of poop every once in a while, I never saw a dog-walker refuse to clean up after his dog. I always wondered who was being so thoughtless of others.
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When you think all those years before that law was passed there was dog poop everywhere. I remember. Ed Kotch passed it. It was the highlight of his administration as mayor.
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And a worthy highlight. I remember visiting when I was young and there was poop everywhere!
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It’s still like that in a few neighborhoods like way downtown but in my hood, forget it. With the exception of General Patton, everyone scoops.
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I remember, too. We were living in Stony Brook by then. There were lots of jokes about it.
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I think besides Bess Myerson, it’s the one thing people remember.
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I hate having to dodge dog landmines. We have a little lakefront park near where we keep our boat on Lake Washington and the beach is full of dog poop. Why? Why? it sucks. Sorry for venting but I like your post!
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You need to lobby for a pooper scooper law. It’s amazing the difference it makes in the landscape. Thanks for reading. 🙂
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There probably is one but people choose to ignore it. Good post!
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That’s too bad…sigh
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Just call it “Dog Poop Beach”😜
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OOH
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There is a mystery ass in my neighborhood who takes the time to pick up the poop, and then randomly drops the bag with the poop on the sidewalk, tosses it up in a tree or in the back of a parked pick-up truck. WHO DOES THAT? More importantly WHY? I would LOVE to hear what his or her dog has to say about this level of crazy.
I love the dog dialog. You know she’s just done with being her owners defense attorney.
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She’s such a pretty dog and her charm knows no bounds. He’s arrogant as can be but one day he’ll get nabbed and that 250 dollar fine will take his attitude down a peg or two. Ouch!
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Susannah, no matter what the rule, protocol, law, etc. there will always be those who feel it doesn’t apply to them, that they are the exception. Every buffet party has the obnoxious pig who helps him/herself before service starts, every line has the inconsiderate butt-in, and every dog poop has the ‘I didn’t see anything’ dog owner.
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You’re so funny Skinny. This is a column.
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Hey! I thought I was the smurf that gets to be funny
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Okay Smurf…that’s a deal..
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I like grumpy the best though
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Isn’t he one of the 7 dwarfs?
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I hate the 7 dwarves
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Well you hate Grumpy then because he’s one of them.
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Intertextual reference. I don’t really hate anybody. Not yet anyway. 7am still so we can amend that soon 😅
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🙂
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A shame someone stole my best Grateful Dead album… and recently told me she has no disc player at all. If my cat had wings I could do that scene from the wizard of oz
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You could do it as a Smurf…:)
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Where do I get the outfit? And the tail
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Ask Grumpy. 🙂
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The dwarf or the smurf? I would rather ask smutty smurf at this hour on a Friday 🤣
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I understand. Am not familiar with all their names.
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You recognize each other though in the right places… they must party. Only problem for them is getting up on the bed without a step ladder
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We all have our challenges.
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It was the best of times. It was the worst of times 🤔
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Tale of Two Ditties.
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I consider myself a diligent scooper but I don’t take a machete with me. I reason: if I can’t get to it, no-one can step in it.
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Good point. Nice to know people. Scoop in England.
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