I’m at the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s American Wing, remembering what it was like before they installed a coffee bar.
I used to come here to write, when it was a sanctuary…quiet, peaceful. Now it’s Epcot with statuary, surly waiters and Tiffany windows.
As I ponder when peace was a given over the din of the espresso machine, I can also hear snippets of conversation a couple are having over the woman’s alleged weight gain.
“I’m still a size 8 I’ll have you know,” she says, poking him in the chest with a long, red nail.
“Yeah well, your ass is more like a 38.”
Which I’m certain she wished she had in her handbag…cocked.
When the waiter brought over her Linzer Tart, she refused to eat it.
“You’re not gonna eat that? It cost 6 bucks?”
“You apologize to me.”
“For what…telling the truth? You’re too fat, and that’s that.”
“Maybe you need to go find yourself someone skinny, how bout that?”
Did she just look my way, or did I imagine it?
“When I married you, you were half your size. What the hell happened?”
This is when I fell in love with her.
“Waiter, bring me two more tarts,” she said, proceeding to eat the one she had.
The waiter called out, “Anything for the gentleman?”
“Yeah, the check.”
🙂 
SB
It is a problem. You can argue that health and beauty are the same thing. And anyone should want their partner to be healthy, shouldn’t they? The danger is that we fix a standard size and shape to be maintained, as though only one size and shape is healthy.
Meanwhile, we are left with the nutty issue of how to maintain a sexual relationship as the physical attraction is eroded. I guess we hope it evolves into something more cerebral.
At least these two were talking: it’s a start!
LikeLiked by 1 person
She was rather zaftic around her perimeters but it’s a sensitive subject to be dealt with gingerly. He was a bit raw in his commentary to say the least.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Some blokes haven’t progressed beyond “goods and chattels” mentality. You’d think we could do better in the twenty-first century. Having said that, it’s easy to be prescriptive when you have an easy life: Maeve is 112lbs soaking wet and has one grey hair!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow. That’s pretty slim.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I’m bloody jealous! No exercise program, no diet, yet she has a six pack: it can’t be fair. Only Smudge is skinnier. Lola and I stand no chance. 😉
LikeLike
Genetics my friend.
LikeLike
Susannah, how did the ungentleman look? Was his belly leaning toward a pony-keg instead of a six-pack or his hairline heading south? So often the pot that is calling the kettle black doesn’t look in the mirror.
If you truly love someone, you don’t focus on their flaws.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He wasn’t sporting a beer belly as far as I could see, but he had a sports jacket on so who knows. Worsted wool can hide a plethora of sins.
LikeLiked by 1 person
…..or a cornucopia of gluttony.
LikeLike
Lovely phrase.
LikeLike
I like her! A treat out is not the place to rant about weight. It ruins the moment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would have slugged him so she had great restraint.
LikeLike
I hope she smashed the tarts into his face.
LikeLike
She ate them heartily 🙂
LikeLike
Different action. Same principle. Good for her!🍰
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would have been too crushed to eat let alone stay. I would have been out of there making skid marks.
LikeLike
Me too
LikeLiked by 1 person
You never lack for entertainment!!!! Thank you for passing things on to us, amplified with your wit.
LikeLike
You are clearly an easy laugh Anne, and we appreciate that. Truly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LMAO! I love it! 😀
LikeLike
Missed ya
LikeLike
Wonder why he would take her someplace to have a dessert if he thought she was fat? Not sure about ordering two more and eating them then and there. Maybe she is ready to have him gone?
LikeLiked by 1 person
She was mad. I think they were meandering around the museum and stoped at the cafe for coffee. Part of the experience I’m guessing.
LikeLike
She ain’t exactly Joan of Arc, but I love her. And while I appreciate a good .38 cal. ass, I prefer a .357 Magnum. The guy is a schmuck and I hope one of those pastries wound up as a face mask.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well hello Ed. You do appreciate a well-endowed derrière even from afar. All I know is, mine resembled an eraser next to hers. Let’s just say, her Mister wasn’t from Connecticut and leave it at that. It’s not as if she was ten pounds slimmer when she left the house
LikeLike
Hope you’re ok Susannah. Best wishes this week
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s a lazy Saturday and the rain finally stopped. Reading, writing, just staying where me feet are…:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Personally, I think telling any woman she is fat when you are within striking distance just shows you are stupid…not just an ass.
Scott
LikeLike
Agreed but you know how men can be. Some men anyway. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, and to my credit, I have been changing my attitude of how a “woman should look” over the past several years. It is wonderfully refreshing.
LikeLike
Let’s just hope she ordered up a lawyer while in the big city. What a fuck!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Let’s hope. 🙂
LikeLike