Why is receiving so hard for some?
Why can’t one just muster a gracious thank you and move on?
A person’s discomfort after I send a gift or note, brings up such a wound for me.
The first time I ever made money, I went to Tiffany to buy my mother something special. I was enthralled with the film, Breakfast at Tiffany’s starring my idol, Audrey Hepburn, so to actually go there was a rite of passage in itself.
When I gave my mother her silver, monogramed hand mirror I had dated with my initials on the back, she said, “Your aunt brought me a mirror from Vegas I much prefer,” putting it back in the box never to be seen again. (Vegas?)
Very painful for a 22 year-old who merely wanted to honor her mom, sharing her first monetary success.
I give naturally, like a tic I can’t control. I don’t preen in that generosity, but do flinch when it’s criticized.
It’s also a way to heal when I’m hurting since it takes you out of yourself.
My old neighbor, Mimi, who’s already gone a year, scolded me for sending cards. I felt terrible since, it’s how I keep in touch. “You’re frivolous,” she told me with iron in her voice. “Don’t waste money like that.”
On friendship, I’m wasting money?
I left something for my other neighbor who’s also older and alone, just with two cats I always address whenever I leave anything…to be funny.
So when I left Patrick a little wind-up baby chick who tap danced on Easter, I truly thought it would please his master. Well, I was told how silly it was, and don’t I have anything better to do?
Whenever I get my hair done, I bring Chagall a snack since he’s all alone in his shop….kind of like a one man hair band…pun intended, but rather than a thank you, I was told the man who makes Chobani Yogurt funds terrorism and what the hell’s the matter with me buying it. (this was news to me by the way, and shame on you Mr. Chobani.)
And those hits just keep on com’in.
What happened to grace? When did she jump ship, and was it a kidnapping, or suicide?
It’s formal definition is, courteous goodwill, poise…decency, a polite manner of behaving.
We are all born with it, a gift from above, but somehow it gets pushed to the back of the closet in favor of arrogance, judgment and narrow sleeves rolled with rudeness.
I think it’s time, we all clean out our closets.