A Bad Receiver

Why is receiving so hard for some?

Why can’t one just muster a gracious thank you and move on?

A person’s discomfort after I send a gift or note, brings up such a wound for me.

The first time I ever made money, I went to Tiffany to buy my mother something special.  I was enthralled with the film, Breakfast at Tiffany’s starring my idol, Audrey Hepburn, so to actually go there was a rite of passage in itself.

When I gave my mother her silver, monogramed hand mirror I had dated with my initials on the back, she said, “Your aunt brought me a mirror from Vegas I much prefer,” putting it back in the box never to be seen again. (Vegas?)

Very painful for a 22 year-old who merely wanted to honor her mom, sharing her first monetary success.

I give naturally, like a tic I can’t control.  I don’t preen in that generosity, but do flinch when it’s criticized.

It’s also a way to heal when I’m hurting since it takes you out of yourself.

My old neighbor, Mimi, who’s already gone a year, scolded me for sending cards.  I felt terrible since, it’s how I keep in touch.  “You’re frivolous,” she told me with iron in her voice. “Don’t waste money like that.”

On friendship, I’m wasting money?

I left something for my other neighbor who’s also older and alone, just with two cats I always address whenever I leave anything…to be funny.

So when I left Patrick a little wind-up baby chick who tap danced on Easter, I truly thought it would please his master.  Well, I was told how silly it was, and don’t I have anything better to do?

Whenever I get my hair done, I bring Chagall a snack since he’s all alone in his shop….kind of like a one man hair band…pun intended, but rather than a thank you, I was told the man who makes Chobani Yogurt funds terrorism and what the hell’s the matter with me buying it. (this was news to me by the way, and shame on you Mr. Chobani.)

And those hits just keep on com’in.

What happened to grace? When did she jump ship, and was it a kidnapping, or suicide?

It’s formal definition is, courteous goodwill, poise…decency, a polite manner of behaving.

We are all born with it, a gift from above, but somehow it gets pushed to the back of the closet in favor of arrogance, judgment and narrow sleeves rolled with rudeness.

I think it’s time, we all clean out our closets.

SB

 

 

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in Faith, Gratitude, humanity, Love, parents, religion and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to A Bad Receiver

  1. I ache for you, being on the receiving end of rudeness. There is no excuse for it. If I had a cat, it would be delighted with a wind-up chick.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Coyote from Orion says:

    I hear you. I have a thing about trust and reliability because I know how important it is when we are in trouble. Frivolous is people who bullshit to friends or kids and never turn up. If I give my word it is good. This has embarrassed people with higher standing. I have lost my brother and several friends including the only mate who was there for me. I just butted heads with a few people who want me playing guitar tomorrow night. I think they understand now that my tenor voice has a rumbling bass end that can make them very small if they don’t get their audio and visual matching. I really don’t like having to do it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Elle Knowles says:

    Sharing and caring is foreign to some people Susannah. They don’t give so they have no idea how to receive… you, on the other hand have excelled in both categories! ~Elle

    Liked by 1 person

  4. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, I think rudeness is the key fault.
    When they were younger, each of my four children received some pretty cheap and thoughtless birthday and Christmas gifts from my Pookie’s side of the family. I’ve been so proud of them for saying thank-you, and not having a fit. It got so bad that I finally told their aunts I wasn’t participating in the so-called $50 gift exchange unless they only gave my children $50 gift certificates. And I hate gift certificates.
    I’ve only had gifts rudely received or rejected a few times, and the memory still stings. Maybe NYC has higher expectations overall than upstate, ha ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. We now live in a world where gestures of kindness are questioned… that says a lot. It actually says too much. People are now suspicious of goodness and have an expectation to be on guard. Let me put it this way, just the fact that we now have to clarify which lives actually matter is enough. Keep doing what you do out of the goodness of your heart, if it makes someone uncomfortable, that is their issue, not yours, but you’ll have to respect it. If you put a big fat smile on the face of someone for just a second you did what you intended to do. We could all use more smiles these days!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Vasca Beall says:

    The art of giving is truly a dear gift. I am a ‘giver’ and have been crushed a few times also. I once gave someone I greatly admired a gift meant to lift their spirits since the recipient was suffering the loss of hearing…same as you. It was taken as an insult rather than a lifting. I grieve about things like that. It’s nice to read about your giving nature…breath of fresh air.

    Like

  7. The root of the issue may be that they feel “obligation” to reciprocate in some way. It’s really harder to receive without having something to give. People who act that sentiment out are rude. Gifts don’t come with requirements. Maybe all those child birthday parties laid guilt trips on us. Don’t change who you are for others. I love my jumping frog. It’s still on my desk occasionally jumping! BTW Chobani doesn’t support terrorism. Urban tale or so I was told.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, that Chobani business took the wind out of my yogurt sails and sales, at least for an instant. I agree gifts don’t come with requirements. I get all I need to get from being on the giving end. It’s true. sigh Glad your frog is enjoying himself. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. micklively says:

    When you do, and they don’t, maybe they take your generosity as a criticism? That’s not a good reason to stop. 😉

    Like

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