What happened to the days when buying a raffle ticket meant, you won a car or a trip to Spain?
I, on the other hand, after shelling out ten bucks for a good cause, won a free consultation with a board certified plastic surgeon.
Even the home Jeopardy Game would have been preferable…but of course I went, it was free after all.
The doctor, who smelled like the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, asked, if there was anything about my face I found particularly disturbing.
How bout all of it? No, I kept my Connecticut in check and just said, my chin…or chins if you will.
It’s funny how you only have one your whole life, when suddenly, out pops another as if it had a secret twin, all along.
After rubbing his hands with enough disinfectant to deliver a baby, he lifted those twins with his trusty forefingers…up and down, right and left.
It was more exercise they’ve ever had, making me hope they wouldn’t ache in the morning.
He smiled before saying, “Well, you’re lucky you have such good bones since they compensate for much of the sagging.”
“Sagging?” Now there’s a word I could live without.
“We could lift and straighten a bit, fill in here and there…nothing too radical, to make you appear fresher. We call it a lifestyle lift.”
“What does this lifestyle lift cost, may I ask?”
“Oh, it’s nothing…one of our lesser fees…8 thousand or so…give or take, and I can shave a little off the top, just for you.”
“Really, that’s good news since, I’d certainly need a shave.”
So, following the advice of JFK…lets grabs our balls (or chins in this case) and go, I thanked the scented doctor, said, me and my chins would be in touch, and went straight to a bar.
It was the least I could do, their spirits sagging so.