I have a birthday coming up we’re not celebrating.
When I think there was a time I looked forward to my special day, it seems comical. As a kid, birthdays were treated like national holidays making you wonder why banks and schools weren’t closed. My mother, despite her shortcomings, relished her offspring’s date of arrival because as she put it, “I did all the work…all you did was show up.”
I always had visions of sliding off a ramp, like luggage at the airport. There she is, the one next to the gray American Tourister. Grab her.
I’ve lived by the seat of my pants my whole life. When I was younger, it seemed okay to not worry about where your next meal was coming from. As a cutesy model making rounds, I could always pop into a good hotel at cocktail hour and for dinner, feast on their hot hor’derves. They actually encouraged it, liking young ladies sprinkled along the bar like hungry cubs.
But there’s nothing cute about a girl in her 6th decade sniffing out the cheese sticks.
My work has all but dried up making me shake my head in total wonder. I look in the mirror and yes, see lines and circles, but overall, if you take me in as a whole, I still look pretty good, and that’s not vanity. I’m my own product so I see I’ve held up pretty well. Okay, if you squint.
Put me in a little dress and a pair of pumps, and watch me strut and swagger. Okay, so I might be sore the next day, but that’s what heating pads and Bengay is for.
I’m told, this is why I should have been married, to have someone to pay for things in my later years. I shudder when I hear this, knowing too many couples who hate each other after marrying for security rather than love.
I guess being a romantic has cost me. I’ve been lucky enough to be in love more than once, but as we know, even the best champagne, once it’s uncorked, will ultimately lose it’s fizz.
In my case, I had one man die, another leave, a married fellow I never should have known, and another who went back to his wife because he wasn’t letting go of his hard-earned house and patio furniture.
I never think in terms of property. The man who died, at 32, taught me, life is too short to live it for your two-car garage and country club membership.
So, I guess the only thing left to do is live one day at a time, doing the best I can with what I do have.
It sounds trite perhaps, but it’s all I have to offer, at least for today. 
SB
Very sweet life lessons !
Best,
Hal
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Thanks Hal. 🙂
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Living one day at a time sounds good to me. I find it hard to do. Good luck!
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It’s a wonderful way to be though I’ll admit, quite often difficult. I’m often consumed with worry about the future so if I can remember to rein myself in and stay where my feet are, it helps tremendously. Thanks, as always.
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Getting married for security is like having kids to take care of you in your old age. It rarely works. We have to figure it out for ourselves. You have done very well so far. Haven’t seen you in a Depends ad yet.
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Oh Kate…God forbid. that would really put me over the edge…and those ads…PAY SO WELL…it would take an ego the size of your pond to say no…my ego is…well…more like a stream I’d say…aye
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“Pay so well” would be the defining factor for sure.
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To be padded in the seat…I dunno Kate. Is money really everything? As Camille would say…YES!
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Depends on if you need it to eat. The ads I’ve seen are pretty good looking. Can’t tell and that’s the point of the commercial. All the folks (with a big tukus anyway) think that they will look slim. 🙂
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The Spanx of adult diapers. You might be on to something there Ms Kate.
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Senior Spanx! Yup, that’s it.
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Maybe we can get a patten…:
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Wong word…what do you call it when you own an idea…my dictionary isn’t telling me.
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patent. You were close enough that I knew what you meant.
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YES…DUH
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I continue to say you are a beautiful woman and I would consider it an honor to escort you to a nice dinner. Whatever happens, Happy Birthday!
Scott
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A cyber dinner…well…you could start a trend there Kindred…:0
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Hmm, I don’t think I phrased that quite right…
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That’s alright…funny…it was funny.
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Six decades doesn’t change the things that matter. You’re still a talented writer, with great heart. I don’t see that changing any time soon. I will be celebrating your birthday.
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Well, if you do, remember to put black crepe over the windows…:)
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Susannah, I wonder if you can identify with this. When I was younger, I’d get compliments along the line of ” You look really good.” Now, at a couple weeks shy of 67, I hear, “You look really good, for your age.” It doesn’t quite have the same ring. I can’t pinpoint exactly when the appendage ‘for your age’ made its appearance.
And you did right by not marrying for security. So sad, desperate, and pathetic a move. Better to be your own woman with moments of loneliness. Being married to the wrong guy doesn’t ensure you’re never lonely.
I think you’re doing just fine … for your age, ha ha!
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I get that…for your age remark, and that instead of pretty, I’m now apparently handsome. I feel as if I should don a tux with Brillcream in my hair. Humor, we’re so lucky to have it there Ms Skinny…best antidote for getting older.
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Unless you’re cheese or wine age doesn’t matter. I try to convince myself of this with every glimpse in the mirror. As if that’s not enough I have kids who love to remind me of my prehistoric date of birth. I think I’m going to celebrate your birthday by eating a cupcake without giving a single fuck about calories. Bon Appetite!
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LOVE…prehistoric date of birth…lol…have a vision of a tyrannosaurus rex making sauce.
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That’s me minus the little hands … lol
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Ha Ha 🙂
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