The Anonymous Bouquet

Who said romance is dead?

Oh, it was me.

Ever since my libido moved to Florida, there’s been none in my life…not even a healthy flirt since, you need its presence when you’re femme fataling it in any capacity.

It’s like a cheerleader with pom-poms screaming, go team go, as you vamp and tramp with some unsuspecting guy who’s just trying to read his paper.

That said…

I’ve accepted my sexual retirement with a great deal of magnanimity, now knowing how the oldest bunny at the Playboy Club must feel trading in her cleavage for the job of being in charge of the hutch.

Not that I had any cleavage to trade, but you get the gist.

I actually met a retired bunny once…Tiffany…call me Tiff…was her name, who was still very attractive, but did look like a wrinkled centerfold, no pun intended.

But I’m going off point, as they say.

When these beautiful flowers arrived and happened to be my favorites…pale pink tea roses, long, loose, unarranged, dancing in their pretty paper like showgirls waiting in the wings…

with no card…I knew it was someone who knows me, and well,

racking my brains, the few I have left, trying to figure out who it could be.

Hicks is out, for obvious reasons, and there is that Englishman who should be brought up on heartbreaking charges.

Wish the Senate would vote on that.

But as an actor, he’s too vain to do anything anonymously since he’d be in the lobby like a sleek seal, reciting Hamlet for the doormen.

So, here I sit with the Rockettes kicking up their stems on my coffee table, pondering their purchaser who forbid the florist to reveal his identity.

Better place a call to my libido and tell her to get her ass back here…just in case.

“Hello Lib, are ya there? Pick up!  Whaddya mean she’s by the pool.” 🙂




About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
This entry was posted in Beauty, Fashion, humor, New York City, sex, Women and men and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to The Anonymous Bouquet

  1. micklively says:

    “In charge of the hutch…” still laughing. Brilliant stuff Susannah. Many thanks. 🙂


  2. skinnyuz2b says:

    They sound lovely, Susannah. And you are still inspiring mystery admirers, I’m impressed! Now it’s going to drive you nuts trying to figure out who it is.
    As for aging out of the hoppy family, my mother and her best friend had a great saying between them, “We may be old, fat, and wrinkling, but at least we can say we once were …”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah well…I try not to dwell on things I cannot change. I’m not about to pretend I’m younger or spryer. I’ve earned his stage of my life. As for those mystery petals, they may just remain a mystery. Have a nice weekend Skinny, and thank you always, for your faithfulness.


  3. The flowers sound gorgeous!!! That being said, I need answers.


  4. My libido saw your libido at the pool bar in the Bahamas. She had a drink with an umbrella in it and was eyeing the lifeguard. What a nice surprise to get. Isn’t it funny that we need to know where they come from? It’s almost like we are afraid to enjoy them just in case they come from someone not worthy.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. gmg says:

    You deserve the flowers, Susannah. I laughed aloud at what you wrote!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Patricia says:

    How wonderful! The flowers…not so much the mystery surrounding them. Although, that is rather exciting. I wonder if you will ever know who they came from. You will tell if you find out, right?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Teddy’s mother is so funny. Yes, of course I will, though no one has come forth as yet. I actually, after getting nowhere on the phone, went in person to the florist who delivered them who said, madam, I am sworn to secrecy. He really said that. I felt like Mary Astor in The Maltese Falcon.


  7. This piece is so quintessentially Susannah. Love it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Everyone should have their choosing on whether their libido flourishes or flops. It’s wonderful to have the feelings, but often a mess to act on them. Me, I prefer mine intact, though about every 1 1/2 months for several days, I would just as well have it relax…
    You, my Dear, I would still like to meet. It would be a shame about your libido, but then I would have a reason for the probable rejection…not so bad then.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. We like all F words. It’s wonderful to take the feelings, but often a mussiness to human action on them.


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