Une Toilette

Why does everything sound so much better in French?

My day didn’t start off too well, my toilet, for no apparent reason refusing to flush.

Now it wasn’t as if a Marine slept over, so it was just being old and moody.

My building was built in 1936, which compared to my old one standing since 1899, is a youngster, just with issues since it always has a problem.

Last week the shower wouldn’t go on.  The week before, a window kept blowing open.

My old place was tough in comparison, a cross between a Tyrannosaurus rex, and Rocky, deserving a medal for endurance.

So there I am, in a rush to leave, anal me, pun intended, unable to deal with it later.  So I creep into the basement to borrow the super’s special plunger his uncle Ray gave him when he graduated from Super School, for lack of a better term, hoping he wouldn’t catch me.

For him, it’s like borrowing his comb.

So, in my Lily Pulitzer vintage shift and amethyst choker, I took the plunge, water spraying, me cursing.

And it still wouldn’t budge.

So I sat on the floor and we, a bit one-sided, had a chat.

“Listen, I need to go…to work, to go to work, and will have a much better day if we could clear this up before I leave.  I know it’s hot and muggy, and you’re probably tired of your job, but could you please behave…please?”

Yeah I know, Susannah, do you have your shrink on speed-dial by any chance?

I then asked her…oh, it has to be a her, come on, only a woman would be this stubborn…if she’d like a little Lemon Pine Sol, to freshen up a bit.

And whaddya know, after a few good capfuls, she was running like the Super Chief.

Like I’ve always say, inanimate objects have feelings too.

Confessions, of a wacky Thingirl.   



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in Connecticut, Home, humor, New York City and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Une Toilette

  1. micklively says:

    The time to worry is when the inanimate objects start answering back. Officially, I think you’re OK ’til then. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  2. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, I really hate it when I’m the only one around to take the plunge. Yuk! I hope you wiped your fingerprints off the super-plunger before returning it. And now we all now that Pine-Sol really does do it all.
    I agree with Mick, don’t worry until objects start answering back, ha ha.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s always something!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I wouldn’t have believed anyone could write something funny about a toilet stopping up, but you did! I’m so glad you won.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Gail Kaufman says:

    No topic is off limits for you, Susannah 🙂


  6. I hope you know that borrowing the super’s plunger is the equivalent of accepting an engagement ring. I’ll await my invitation.
    Things I learned today: Anything can be sweet talked, even toilets.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.