I lost my phone.
You would have thought it was my mind, and it was, for 15 minutes.
Where were you…retrace your steps, and as you travel backwards, look down in case it’s lying on the sidewalk like a wounded animal.
The irony is, I’m not a phonaholic by any means, like the rest of the universe propelled forward by its every command. Yet the thought of it missing left me naked and trembling, in front of a Baby Gap store.
I ran to Toys R Us where I had just bought a blue, stuffed elephant for my bed, I named Ike. The two little Latino girls who sold it to me, were so upset while searching through the dogs and cats, offering to call my number, knowing they’d only get a voicemail the way I have it set up for my hearing needs…or lack of.
When it wasn’t among the animals, I flew to the gourmet store hoping it was with the tomatoes I fondled earlier, deciding whether I wanted Beefsteak or Cherry.
Harry the grocer said, he didn’t see me on my phone, so how could it have been left if I didn’t use it while I was there?
I suddenly saw myself at Apple waiting in line to buy another when the one missing isn’t even paid for yet. I have to have an iPhone because it hooks up to Max and Min, my trusty hearing aids that I need, in order to hear over the phone.
I felt my panic rise when the tomatoes knew nothing, recommending I consult the Bell peppers, see if they know anything.
I guess I’ll just sit on this orange crate and cry, that’s what I’ll do…then berate myself for being so dotty and distracted. I’m tired from a job I did knowing full well, extreme fatigue means, paying more attention as if you were moving through fog.
“Are you hungry,” asked Brian the deli man, offering to stovetop a little linguine, just for me.
Food, that’s supposed to fix everything, even the loss of an object you wish you didn’t come to rely on, oh so much.
After declining pasta in a bright red bowl, I went home to get my AMEX before proceeding to the Apple Store.
I took my bag I had rifled through 6 times and shook it good and hard, watching its contents spill every which way, and there, in the little front pocket I never use, my phone came tumbling out, never remembering putting it there.
I called Harry, Brian and the stuffed animal girls to tell them, now wishing, when offered, took that linguine, to-go, since all that hysteria made me rather hungry.
Ike and I, then sat on the couch counting our blessings, promising to do better, the next time.