They Love Me, They Love Me Not

 A therapist I once had, called it the vacillation dance, when one minute, you’re the toast of someone’s life, the next, toast.

She explained it as having intimacy issues.  My explanation rang truer…it was just plain, fucked up behavior.

The good news is, I don’t do that dance anymore, but rather waltz right out the door when it shows its fancy footwork.

I’m told in many cases, it’s the result of alcoholism…the mood swings that sway like a drunken pendulum, but sometimes only the ism is present…a mood straight up, no ice, no glass.

Fear of getting close?  Not feeling worthy?  Afraid of being hurt, so I’ll hurt you first then go on to another victim like a bee that can sting twice?

Excuse me while I hop a cab.

Frankly, as I’ve gotten older…and older and older…my patience has lost its patience.

Where before, I’d bask in the person’s deceptive dazzle, the… he’s just so misunderstood, she was abused by three husbands and my good nature can change all that…now I make skid marks when they start tap-dancing down Main Street.

Love is the answer, and the Pollyanna in me still believes that.  I’ll be on my death bed asking to be read the end of Pride & Prejudice when Lizzie and Darcy stroll into the sunset, but….for now, I’ll be wearing a STOP sign, or at least one that blinks CAUTION, as I sing…    

I won’t  dance, don’t ask me…

I won’t dance, how could you…

I won’t dance, Merci Beaucoop…


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
This entry was posted in alcohol, friendship, humanity, humor, Love, men and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to They Love Me, They Love Me Not

  1. Some lessons are harder to learn than others.


  2. micklively says:

    Courtship is a strange ritual indeed. It’s where animal instincts and societal terrors collide. I don’t believe anyone is truly honest, even with themselves, or totally in control. Without wanting to sound smug, I am sooooooo pleased that it is behind me.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    I know what you mean, Susannah. I’ve had a few instances of the red hot flame that almost threatens to consume me when suddenly it turns cold for no apparent reason. It used to and still does leave me reeling with a WTF hanging over my head. I think those hit and run people are really only in it for the thrill of the chase.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Alva Chinn says:

    This so resonates…in way too many ways to recount, but patience was never my forte and now I find what some males think as enticing, thoughtful or of interest to this truth-sayer to be sophomoric, silly or the old bait and switch=none of it titillating in the least. Where are the grown men with connections to their own hearts first. Just sayin’….

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I know that mental dilemma, between staying and going, making excuses for someone or not. It’s always hard.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ah, I love Pride and Prejudice, though I am biased and love the one with Keira Knightley starring. But I did fall for the story as well. Wonderfully done.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.