What’s Wrong With Me Ed?

I’m a Bobby Kennedy fan.

I even have his picture in a nice, silver frame on my window sill, so it’s not unusual for me to be reading about him still again, as in, Robert Kennedy, a Memoir, by Jack Newfield, written in 1969, a year after his death.

Newfield, who at the time, was writing an authorized biography of Bobby, was traveling alongside him during his 82 day presidential campaign which sadly included June 5, 1968, the day he was shot in the Ambassador Hotel’s kitchen in Los Angeles, California.

I had eight pages left, but put the book down before going to bed, unusual for me not to finish, when I was so near the end.

This made me think of Ken Burns, the documentary filmmaker, who, while finishing the soundtrack for his film, The Civil War, when it came down to putting in the gunshot that killed Abraham Lincoln, hesitated, he said, because he could then keep Lincoln alive, just a little longer.

It made me see why I didn’t finish those last pages.

If I could keep Bobby talking, laughing, smiling up on that podium giving his acceptance speech for winning the California primary, I too, could keep him alive.

I wrote to my friend Ed who happens to be in California, not far from where the Ambassador Hotel once stood, asking, what’s wrong with me Ed, that I could still weep this way, after finally reading those last few pages?

I unpacked, and then, with the lights out, I sat in a chair and tried to adjust to the reality of Robert Kennedy dying.  Why did it happen?  What did it mean?  What did I think about violence?  My thoughts were not clear:  they were not strong enough to support my feelings.  I finally wrote down just three words on a lined yellow pad.  He is irreplaceable….then I went to sleep remembering, he was only 42 years old.

Jack Newfield    





About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in Books, Faith, grace, History, humanity, media, Politics, readng, violence, words, writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to What’s Wrong With Me Ed?

  1. skinnyuz2b says:

    Jack and Bobby’s deaths were such tragedies. It makes us wonder where we might be had they each survived to continue serving our country.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s the whole point. A new bio just came out by Chris Mathews that is interesting. Reading it now. How different he was even at a young age but to please his father, draped himself with layers of toughness that really wasn’t him.


  2. Arthur says:

    Hi Susannah – you probably know this already – Chris Matthews has just come out with a new book on RFK

    Liked by 1 person

  3. micklively says:

    Assassination is terrible blight on the face of democracy. Of course, it is tempting to consider what the victims might otherwise have achieved. Where might we be if Salvador Allende or Mohandas K Gandhi or Benazir Bhutto or Martin Luther King or Franz Ferdinand ducked the bullet?


  4. I felt similar when I read The Last Campaign, wishing it could turn out differently than I knew it would, wishing I could warn him somehow. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Only 42, but remember by most for a very very long time.


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